A donkey fell into a bowl of sugar. Now that's a sweet ass.
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When I was young, I was afraid of the dark. Now when I get my electric bill, I am afraid of the light.
Why is a bra singular and panties plural?
As I was at the store earlier, I noticed my shredded cheese falling out of a hole in the bag. I think it was sharp cheddar
Q: What happens to the man who lost his whole left side of his body? A: He is all right now
Constipated people don't give a crap
Set your wifi password to 2444666668888888. So when someone asks for it, tell them it's 12345678.
Were any famous men born on your birthday?" "No, only little babies."
After (M)onday and (T)uesday even the week says WTF!
Whenever you get mad, just think of a t-rex trying to masturbate.
Who is the most popular guy at the nudist colony? The guy who can carry a cup of coffee in each hand and a dozen donuts
A woman in labor suddenly shouted,“Shouldn’t! Wouldn’t! Couldn’t! Didn’t! Can’t!”“Don’t worry,” said the doc. “Those are just contractions.”
Statistically 6 out of 7 Dwarfs are not Happy
Dry erase boards are remarkable
I've finally told my suitcases there will be no holiday this year. Now I'm dealing with the emotional baggage.
If you drop a bar of soap on the floor, is the floor clean or is the soap dirty?
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
Dear Week, I'm so over you. I'm leaving you for your best friend, Weekend. Don't try to find us for at least 2 days.
Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia: Fear of long words.
If mummies are from egypt, then where are daddies from?
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