Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia is the fear of long words.
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Do ten millipedes equal one centipede?
Aibohphobia. The irrational fear of palindromes.
I am interrupting your joke wall with an important anouncement. Or I was going to, but I've forgotten the announcement. Oh well! HI!
What did the bra say to the hat? You go on ahead I’ll give these two a lift
I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time
Two men walked into a bar. The third one ducked.
eBay is so useless. I tried to look up lighters and all they had was 13,749 matches.
My friend says my house is haunted. I've been living here for 300 years and i haven't noticed shit.
Best Summer Vacation Book Never Written: "Where to Stay on Vacation" by Moe Tell.
A Gynecologist is the only doctor that can read lips, I bet at the end of the day.. he’s bushed .
A man was bitten by a snake while taking a selfie. How the snake managed to bite the man and hold a phone simultaneously is a mystery.
A Nurse finds a rectal thermometer in her pocket and says "aww some asshole got my pen".
The difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer is in the taste.
What’s the difference between Iron Man and Aluminum man? Iron Man stops the criminals, Aluminum man just foils their plans.
Pork and Leek... great flavor for sausages... lousy brand name for condoms.
What is a zebra? 26 sizes larger than an "A" bra.
The last chapter of every book should just be all the characters acting completely terrified because their world is about to end
Just seen a sign that made me shit myself.. it said "toilet closed"
My dear grandmother always used to say the way to a man's heart was through his stomach, which is why she lost her job as a cardiac surgeon. -
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