This fly that just landed on me I s*** you not... looked like it had a light in its ass.
D_go
Resident From Gotham! No... I'm lying.
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Mirror's must like me... They keep letting me know how good I look today, HA!
When the fuck did I walk into a spider web?? Gosh darn it...
I just got into a wreck. Somebody must love me because only a tiny, little, bitty scratch...barely even see it. *kisses the sky*
Life sucks only as much as you do... Remember that.
This one? Remember this one?
Junk food is like that EX you keep going back to you
You know whats the difference between me and a popsicle...?
I dont have a stick up my ass
Ive been having a great fucking day. I hope you mother fuckers are too. *Fucking Sending Good Vibes to all*
My New Year's resolution started 2 years ago
Somebody ate the last Oreo ice cream sandwich so here I am stuck eating frozen yogurt... Its ok I'll live, I think
Well shit it's been a minute. Merry Happy Greetings Holidays Wishes
Not to brag... But I made a nun laugh today.Let the spamming begin!!!
I swear if I hear one more person say Batman smells...
I've been having to bring snacks with me to the gym. I think I may have a promblem.
Merry christmas!
You don't think Santa would be mad I ate all the cookies do you?
They over hyped this phone...
Smart Phone My Ass
I hope I don't piss off Stan today. -
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