I'm like a gremlin. Feed me before 12 and nobody gets hurt
D_go
Resident From Gotham! No... I'm lying.
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I just put my underwear on the wrong way. But in my defense... the lights were off
I be talking s***...
only when necessary
YOU HAVE NOTHING THAT I WANT.
I know 5 minutes after I leave this Buffet... I'm going to be hungry again
Sometimes I think there's somebody controlling my phone... and I say f*** them
Copy and paste
Laughs out loud (in silence)
I missed every touchdown cuz I was on my phone
This fly that just landed on me I s*** you not... looked like it had a light in its ass.
Mirror's must like me... They keep letting me know how good I look today, HA!
When the fuck did I walk into a spider web?? Gosh darn it...
I just got into a wreck. Somebody must love me because only a tiny, little, bitty scratch...barely even see it. *kisses the sky*
Life sucks only as much as you do... Remember that.
This one? Remember this one?
Junk food is like that EX you keep going back to you
You know whats the difference between me and a popsicle...?
I dont have a stick up my ass
Ive been having a great fucking day. I hope you mother fuckers are too. *Fucking Sending Good Vibes to all*
My New Year's resolution started 2 years ago -
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