Banter Break Up With The User Above You

  • Thread starter Thread starter CantBeTamed
  • Start date Start date
Dear @xyzrp
You spend all of your time here on FCN and neglect our family (the kids :(are missing you), which is fine by me and can live with it, BUT I can't tolerate:) that you are not visiting my profile and not posting or commenting there, and what pissed me off is finding out that you DON'T FOLLOW me. This is outrageous:mad::), and CAN'T live with it, so byeeeee and block.
 
@Tom_the_eagle I'm sorry but I can't take it anymore. You flutter around here and there chatting all the others up and to top it off you keep bringing things you catch back, including sexual diseases.
So we're through I'm afraid. I wish you luck and hope the penicillin works this time :p
 
@Jinxy Life without those cushions will be unbearable anyway, you know how much I love to rearrange them so they remind me of you topless on the beach. Coffee's will never be the same again :(
But you'll find another I'm sure, and I'm going to buy some cushions that remind me of Ursula Andress coming out of the water in Dr No so I'll survive ;)
 
I have to break up with you as I can't get you off my mind and it's getting dangerous I've walked out into the road without looking and im getting absolutely no work done at all your beauty is bad for my health
 
@ShyPlusSize I'm sorry to tell you it's over. I've told you so many times that my ball is for playtime, but not that playtime :o
So I'm taking my basket and chew toys, the ball you can keep as a momento of our time together, playing with it in the park and the bedroom. I know it will Fetch you someone new :p
 
Yes out of order...feel free to breakup with dogo
@CantBeTamed

We've done this before, and here you are back again...as you see, my hair has grown back, and the constant itching has stopped. Thanks for not asking to see how the scars on my back have healed...it shows...how much you truly don't care.

Some things I will miss about you this time around. 16 years of ballet, and I'll still describe your dance moves as comparable to a sloth on acid eating a stick of butter... entertaining for sure, but uh... WTF? I appreciate that you know when I'm tired...I'm assuming that is why you keep sending me to the store, requesting Apples and sausage rolls...because I know you aren't a fan of sausage(although it did seem you appreciated mine quite often!)

Things I will not miss about you this time around...the constant throat punches when I accidentally on purpose touch your nose. We all know it's fun to touch noses...but my larynx was broken on that last one....I don't know if it was the finger splint, or all the softball practice years ago, but damn woman, you could teach krav maga with those punches. And of course, you're still trying to wax me. I appreciate your love of hairless someguy..but buying the high power laser to "treat" me has left me rather burned, and blistered. From one fire into another huh?

So, once more, I bid you adieu. I'm sure once my hair grows back, you'll find me again...as after all, even when you sleep you mutter "Sausage and sausage and sausage rolls"


Someguy
 
Clairbear,

I must regretfully inform you that we can no longer have relations with one another. I thought it would be fun being with a younger woman, but instead I feel creepy because I am old enough to be your dad. Don’t take it personally, age may be just a number, but you don’t really want to be with a 60 year old when you hit you sexual prime. Plus your total lack of golf skills is a turnoff.


Yours truly,
Notroh
 
@CantBeTamed ~ they were right about you!

You've chewed through your leash ONE too many times and broken your restraints, dug, climbed, fought and busted your way out AGAIN you naughty bad little creature!

I found you at the rescue shelter that cold, wet, stormy day and you gave me those puppy dog eyes and all I wanted to do was take you home and love you madly, keep you warm, give you belly tickles, head pat's, behind ear scratches, let you sleep on my bed, allow your paws to feel the grass and dirt for the first time and just get you chunky!

But ... now the couch is up the shit, we've gone through the third one and I'm missing my body shaped perfectly Sheldon a la Big Bang Theory cushion indentation in the first one!! I'm not going back to Ikea again, I don't care if you like their meatballs!

The screen door (EVERY door!) has a thousand holes in it, you've ripped up the carpet and scratched the wood beneath, our bed looks like a homeless person lives in it and the fleas are out of control!

The chains and whips, ropes, collars and muzzles don't cut it! You're like a wild Houdini, always escaping the restraints!

You're the leader of a gang of raccoons for fucks sake! I told you I don't wanna come home to you guys all high in the loungeroom listening to dirty rap songs and eating pizza off the floor!

Fuck you and your crew!

The place smells like territorial pissings - you can keep it!

Fuck this shit, I'm out!
 
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Hey.. cant be....

The way you emasculated me in the batting cage was cold.... and after, I didnt even get the sign for a hit and run.... but the kicker was how you spiked me when i tried to slide into third... I guess you could say you blocked the plate...

Was wondering what they meant by you go to the bull pen often... now I know...

RAT
 
Dear @Jinxy, I’m breaking up with you because you are so fantastic I can’t hold you down anymore. You were meant to shine for the whole world to see, not be cooped up and hidden.
 

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