Banter Break Up With The User Above You

  • Thread starter Thread starter CantBeTamed
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Venus. As beautiful a woman and soul you are, I'm afraid our time is up.

Your constant flirting aside, the neighbours are complaining of your loud sexual behaviour and they live 2 miles away.

Also, did you take the last pack of batteries and even the ones from the TV remote to your bedroom??
 
Dear @adam135,
Im writing you because I can't look you in the face & tell you how much I despise the fact that you're a dog. I thought I could do it but every time you pulled out your red rocket & I fainted, it wasn't because I was nervous... it was because I can't fuck a dog. And you dont have a normal bed in a normal bedroom. Good luck finding someone that wants to be intimate in a dog house. Just out of curiosity, has anyone ever told you that you strongly resemble Charlie Brown's Snoopy? It's weird.

No longer yours,
Lilly x
 
Dear Piggy,
I can't live like this any longer. Originally I thought you were joking that I couldn't eat bacon but I didn't know you meant when we're not together too! You're the cutest bf I've ever had but I can't give up my bacon... Im sorry, I realize you feel threatened when Im chewing and swallowing up your relatives but they taste so fucking amazing!! Ugh.

Take care,
Lilly x
 
Ohh lily,

You didn’t see the desire in my eyes! All you saw was bacon..you are consumed with ravishingly my sweet juicy meat! I am more than a long and crispy snack! I have emotions and feelings...yea may seem the same but Arn’t...I will miss your wondering eyes and meat hook hands.... fun times! Enjoy your turkey bacon..eww :rolleyes:
 
Since you're off the grid and I haven't been able to get in touch with you for a while, I can't just sit around and wait any longer...wish you luck on your sheep herding adventure x
 
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A restraining order?? Woah!! Don't tempt me with a good time lol ;)
Sadly the long distance thing isn't working out for me though, so maybe it's time you find someone closer to home lol :)
 
You call a restraining order a good time ... you were my bf! You didn't NEED TO stalk me any more ... but you did! It's even creepier now that I gave you a chance out of pity and we have this "relationship" yet you still need to slink around in the shadows, hide around corners, turn up in dark alley ways and peep at me through our house windows in order to get a boner before sex!

I can't do this shit anymore, I'm out, you're a massive head fuck!

FYI I got a body guard beast hound that I beat while wearing a carboard cut out mask of your face over a HAZMAT suit with a tennis ball wrapped in your underwear so fuck the restraining order anyway ... you'll lose your balls if you come near me again!
 
PheonixxxMonroe said:
You call a restraining order a good time ... you were my bf! You didn't NEED TO stalk me any more ... but you did! It's even creepier now that I gave you a chance out of pity and we have this "relationship" yet you still need to slink around in the shadows, hide around corners abandoned peep at me through our house windows at night.

I can't do this shit anymore, I'm out, you're a head fuck and I got a body guard beast hound that I beat while wraring a carboard cut out mask of your face over a HAZMAT suit with a tennis ball wrapped in your underwear so fuck the restraining order ... you'll lose your balls if you come near me again!
Click to expand...

:eek: *It was at this moment he knew, he fucked up*

Say no more! Say no more. I clearly have misread the situation and will be moving to the opposite side of the world. Pronto! Enjoy your demented ball ripping beast hound and hazmat suit with a likeness of me...kinda weird you'd want something that would remind you of me all the time. o_O
But hey! More power to you. Wishing you every happiness and a pound of luck to the next guy....latah! ;)
 
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