Advice and Opinion Can men & women be friends?

  • Thread starter Thread starter LilithX
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Yes, However If I really desire a woman sexually. And we are in the same space socially, on a regular basis. And the desire is not reciprocal. Being friends is difficult...Though not impossible. What makes it easier for me is if she gives a reason why she doesn't feel similarly.
 
it works when you agree and establish you are just friends, until they ruin it by drunkenly asking you for sex in the wee hours of the night out of nowhere.
 
I think it can work. It’s not easy and sometimes it’s harder work than trying to keep a marriage going. The priority is to establish rules and boundaries. If you don’t think you can avoid trying it on when you are drunk then agree to stay apart at these times. If you are going out for the night put a limit on your drink consumption and either stick to it or don’t go
If you are at a party set your limits and if the limits are broken then one party he leaves, the next time she leaves. I gave female friends that have been friends for a lot of years
 
For me, I have to like someone first before I can 'love' them and isn't liking someone where friendship is founded?
I should qualify this by saying, its not quite the same sort of friendship if both parties see some potential for going to an intimate level. That is more in the realms of a companionship thing, for example, dating. I do not date those I consider friends save for the situations when its a group outing where several members of both sexes decide on a night out together. Maybe its just me but I see there being two types of friendships. In Australia, we'd define one as a 'mate' and the other with potential to 'mate'.

But saying that, I have a couple of male friends who will remain that, just friends. I guess my point is, it hurts when you lose contact with a genuine friend but less so when its the friendship one developed with someone who is now an ex-lover. I have never (well almost never) missed an ex-lover; once it's over, its over and life moves on and this is the time when the genuine friends come to the fore.

Ls x
 
I have never heard this perspective before. I believe men and women can be friends. Hell, I think about sex atleast as much as the average 20 year old male so if I can have platonic male friends, so can everyone lmao!! Not every guy is going to be my type, I'm not on the prowl 24/7, and many other factors contribute to this. That being said, I regularly have sexual thoughts about many men in my life. Do I act on them? No. Do I fantasize? Mostly, no. I don't think fleeting thoughts mean anything.
 
What kind of question is this? Of course men and women CAN'T just be friends, them male feminist are proof of that.
 
Absolutely, positively, undeniably YES! Some of my best friends are women. Some are exes but we are still close, and not sexually.
And one of my best female friends, we don't speak often but it's always like it was yesterday, is an absolutely stunning beauty that I made an absolute fool of myself trying to get her to sleep with me when we first met. She's never mentioned it though. We spent a week together in Cozumel. Same room. Never was sex mentioned or attempted
 
They can be just friends, if friends includes a drunken night of cheek clapping or a hookup. Most guys who were friends with me usually did want something
 
I had a guy friend a few years ago , he did landscaping and he was the only company to call me back, to service my lawn & landscaping since I couldn’t do it myself, (before I got remarried). He was married with one son , we would just talk like adults , he never hit on me or anything creepy. We would have a few cigarettes together after he finished , I would offer him something to drink.
 
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In 99% of cases they can't. That's my experience. A lot of my friends tried something on me. Sooner or later, they don't care if I'm in a relationship, or dating or whatever, if they're close to me they will definitely try something.
 
100% yes. As long as people are honest and have respect for each other’s feelings, men and women can absolutely be friends. I’m completely surprised by how many people say this isn’t possible.

That being said, I do believe that some individuals cannot. But that is because they are probably too focused on sex generally, don’t respect the other person’s opinions/boundaries, or generally view members of the opposite sex as objects instead of viable friend material… in which case, those people are probably crappy friends to whomever.

… and just because someone asks you out and you say no, it doesn’t mean that you can’t be friends. I have several very good male friends that asked me out when we first met (I said no without making them feel bad about it) and we have remained very close friends. They had the good sense not to push romantic involvement over the years and I made sure that they never felt embarrassed by the rejection and felt valued as a friend.
 
I have more female friends than male, and yes, we all remain close friends easily and uncomplicatedly (without even having to set the 'rules' and yet maintaining boundaries well) - hence yes it's possible.

But...

...there is one lady friend whom I find as my closest friend of all, and the sheer depth of this specific friendship has led to me falling for her deep deep deeply...oh well...that's another story altogether o_O
 
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