Advice and Opinion Can men & women be friends?

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I don't think they have to get in the way. I think a well thought out plan with good communication about expectations can work. I have yet to have it but I believe it can be done. Sex is just sex if you want it to be (in my opinion). With that said, I don't find people to be completely honest with their desires and that gets shit hairy lol

I tend to be less emotional these days, so for me, I can pull this off. However, I don't want someone sleeping with others. It's just me full on or nothing. :P
 
In my opinion, it can definitely work. But then again, I only had guy friends till I was 14 years old and I think I'm pretty immune (kinda) to most of the things that works on other girls. I still have guy friends whom I've known for more than 20 years and except for one, none of them tried any shit with me. I personally think, I've been conditioned to think more like a guy than a girl but that's just me.
I also agree with Heidi that communication is of utmost importance. Even if things starts getting out of hand, you can mend the issue by simply expressing your desire, or lack of it, to proceed further with anything at all.
But I think, like Heidi pointed out above, being less emotional is the key. Heck, there will be times you've got to be curt and dismissive, or laugh it off, to deflect the uncomfortable scenario where emotions messes it all up.

From me, it's a yes. I can pull off being any guy's friend and I believe that a man and a woman can just be friends. Not saying there won't be moments where being 'friends' will be the most difficult thing to do but if either of them want, they can work through it.
 
xyzrp said:
In my opinion, it can definitely work. But then again, I only had guy friends till I was 14 years old and I think I'm pretty immune (kinda) to most of the things that works on other girls. I still have guy friends whom I've known for more than 20 years and except for one, none of them tried any shit with me. I personally think, I've been conditioned to think more like a guy than a girl but that's just me.
I also agree with Heidi that communication is of utmost importance. Even if things starts getting out of hand, you can mend the issue by simply expressing your desire, or lack of it, to proceed further with anything at all.
But I think, like Heidi pointed out above, being less emotional is the key. Heck, there will be times you've got to be curt and dismissive, or laugh it off, to deflect the uncomfortable scenario where emotions messes it all up.

From me, it's a yes. I can pull off being any guy's friend and I believe that a man and a woman can just be friends. Not saying there won't be moments where being 'friends' will be the most difficult thing to do but if either of them want, they can work through it.
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Well said, Lady ;)
 
I know it can be done. I have a several female friends that I would honestly die for, but there are absolutely no worries about anything other than friendship. We discuss sex at times, but always objectively and never about each other.
 
I think it's possible. You can't suspend or deny who you find attractive, but it doesn't have to get in the way of a friendship, or a work relationship.

It gets more complicated if there's a sexual or romantic history between two people, and they try to dial it back to 'just friends,' but even that is possible if there's good communication.
 
It's not impossible but attraction is expected from either side. I have fallen for a best friend who was a girl and later found out she had the same feelings for me, but we just never confronted each other about it. Another friend I knew for years before I developed a crush on her. I don't think I ever felt her give off any vibes my way so I never pursued my longing for her, I kept it platonic and we are still friends to this day. I guess for me, it is possible, but the closer you get to someone and a bond grows, familiarity grows and trust develops.... that may lead to an attraction one did not have for the other. I don't think it's intentional it's simply an organic way we humans develop an emotional attachment for one another. Again this is coming from my experience and may differ for many in here, but to me having female friends truly enriched my life and I count my blessings having had known so many female POV's that contradicted my more male directed up bringing. They truly made me see a completely different side of the way a man can and should handle himself around the opposite sex. Did I start blabbing? Apologies I tend to do that! :D...
 
Unless it's a fling or a 1-night stand, don't all relationships start with friendship? I would think the issues and strains of that friendship would happen if one person wants to take it further than the other does. I am far from an expert but to me, that would seem to be the hindrance that could get in the way of an opposite sex friendship. I've lost friendships due to that pressure but conversely, every male I have slept with was a friend first. Does that make sense?

Ls x
 
If the two are cool with each other they can be JUST friends. I have a friend who is a girl that has been my friend for 9 years and counting. We've talked bout a lot but nothing more then just friends. It all on if they both really do want just a friend. And it's not hard either.
 
sorry if this gets long.

I happen to be involved with a man whose friends are mostly women. his best friends are women, one of which is his exwife. the other two are ex coworkers. all long time friends.

one thing they have in common is a mutual respect for each other. his exwife thinks he is a great dad and he thinks she is a great mom. the other two gals have learned a lot from him and vice versa. they also all respect each other's partners. so much so that I enjoy the time I spend with these girls.

but here's the thing. that is not a common occurrence in our society because the need for companionship supercede the respect for our companions.

jealousy is the result when we fail to see this. and we all know what jealousy does to relationships.

I was once jealous of everyone of those girls because I couldnt believe the time he spent with them was friendly. I believed it was more them wanting to be physically close vs just enjoying each other's company.

so yes I believe men and women can be friends. but we make it so difficult on ourselves.

sorry if I blabbered. this touched a nerve.
 
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@Lakeside It does make sense. But for many people, there are differences among their views about lust, love or friendship, there are also different types of love/friendship. Personally I think it's more the difference between pragma and eros . But it's a never ending debate , that's why my answer is a general one. Depends on every human, their past life experiences and their psychology and capacity to understand these terms.
 
@Vey I think I understand. I can only quote from experience, limited as it is. I guess its like most things, it is up to the people involved to choose where the levels are.

Ls x
 
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I've had different experiences here. One guy I was best friends with turned into lust and was ruined.
Other male friends i have are simply that, friends. I have no intention of doing anything with them but their wives think otherwise which makes things difficult.
It's one of my bug bears in life that men and women can't be friends without other people screwing it up.
 
It can happen. I have friends who had a boyfriend and I had a girlfriend but we hung out all the time and that's it. Sometimes you meet someone who you really click with. I have never really had many male friends. I just get along better with women.
 
Lakeside said:
Unless it's a fling or a 1-night stand, don't all relationships start with friendship? I would think the issues and strains of that friendship would happen if one person wants to take it further than the other does. I am far from an expert but to me, that would seem to be the hindrance that could get in the way of an opposite sex friendship. I've lost friendships due to that pressure but conversely, every male I have slept with was a friend first. Does that make sense?

Ls x
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That does make sense!
 
xtacy4 said:
What is your opinion? Can men and women be “just” friends or does sex...desire...expectations... or other factors get in the way? Feel free to share why you feel the way you do and experiences that may contribute to your opinion.
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Yes we can

I have a lot of female friends and there are 2 girls anong my best friends gang

MY best friend from my college is a girl

I don't think sex, desire etc has to be in there

We share everything between us, but we don't judge one another...
 
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