Explain a movie badly

Home improvement show takes a turn for the worst when bathroom reno reveals a grizzly discovery.
Contestants argue about who's to blame and find out they're now in a rather difficult position.
Show tackles extreme case of self harm and sends a clear message to others about the dangers of DIY.



Saw
 
The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey

Old guy with a big stick tricks nice little guy to go with a bunch of slightly bigger and hairier but still little guys on a journey for jewelry in those mountains from that Zeppelin song.
 
Classic case of mistaken identity, girl disguised as a boy hurled into brutal and bloody life of war and destruction in ancient China.
Moral of story, don't lie to your father.


Mulan
 
The Hobbit: The Desolation of Benedict Cumberbatch

All the little guys and guy-with-stick go talk to a Furry, then they fight the Spiders From Mars, then the girl from Lost does some stuff, then they go to some run down lake resort town for a bit but decide to go for a hike into the mountains and run into an ornery Benedict Cumberbatch that just wants to sleep off this bad cough he has.

Oh and he doesn't get desolated.....at all. He is clearly not desolated at the very end.
 
Similar story to Heidi, but with snow and a shit load of anger and fear thrown in. No goats.
Posh bitches in nice dresses are threatened by a rich kid while the town experiences extreme temperature fluctuations due to global warming.
Ends in a very nice tribute to Torvill and Dean.




Frozen
 
The Hobbit: The Battle To Understand Why There Are Three Movies

*sighs* Uhhhh I...I dunno. Cumberbatch finally gets desolated...well I mean he is shot with an arrow, not really desolation. A bit of an exaggeration. Anyway, the threat is over. Or is it? Dun, Dun, Dunnnnnn. It's the rough lookin' types. Back in action and ready to rumble. For some reason they show up, so do the eagles, so does the Furry, so does the Lost girl, so does guy-with-stick, so do the long-haired dudes, so do the little guys, and its pandemonium, its mayhem, its......can this thing end already? I mean, I love LOTR and everything but why do we have a third movie? Random cross-species romance? Middle-Earth cameos abound? The book is like 18 pages long!!!

Bleh, good guys win. The End. Until guy-with-stick gets his stick outta his ass and realizes that ring was kinda important like 80 years later.
 
SinfulMaria said:
Saw

Two guys and a dead one are locked in a bathroom, can't escape and then die except the dead one which is alive and escapes.
Click to expand...
Are you serious???
I already did this one. Lmao
But yeah. That's the gist of it. Lol
 
Event Horizon
A lost spaceship is not lost then scientist explains complex science for dummies before he opens hellgate. Everybody dies. Maybe?
 
Cooking show goes horribly awry when two kids get in the way of the star of the show.
Star is aghast and tries to punish the kids, but has a tragic industrial accident to which the insurance company refuses to pay out. Kids go awol.
Fast forward 15 years, kids now adults and badass, go back to the place the accident happened and round up the stars family.
Everyone dies.

No candy was consumed in the making of this movie.
Govt warning: Be careful around fire.


Hansel and Gretel: witch hunters
 
Harry Potter- some bald ugly ass looking dude has beef with a 12 year old kid. Somehow the kid still comes out on top and saves the wizarding world from his foolishness
 
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