Jokes

A clearly inebriated woman, stark naked, jumped into a taxi in New York City and sat down on the back seat.

The cab driver, an old Jewish gentleman, opened his eyes wide and stared at the woman. He made no attempt to start the cab. The woman glared back at him and said,

"What's wrong with you, honey? Haven't you ever seen a naked woman before?"

The old Jewish driver answered, "Let me tell you sumsing, lady. I vasn't staring at you like you tink; dat vould not be proper."

The drunk woman giggled and responded, "Well, if you're not staring at my boobs or my butt, sweetie, what are you doing then?"

He paused a moment, then told her ..."Vell, M'am, I am looking and I am looking, and I am tinking to myself, vair is dis lady keeping de money to pay for dis ride?"
Now, that's a businessman!
 
Grandfather: When I was your age, I used to go to the market with two Rupees and bring home soap, rice, milk, bread, ghee, face powder etc.
Grandson: nowadays it is difficult. There are CCTV cameras everywhere.
 
Boy: (calls 911) Hello, I need your help!
911: Alright, What is it?
Boy: Two girls are fighting over me!
911: So what’s your emergency?
Boy: The ugly one is winning.
 
Interviewer: Introduce yourself
Boy: My father’s name is Laughing
Boy: My mother’s name is Smiling
Interviewer: Are you kidding?
Boy: No, he’s my cousin and I’m Joking.
 
Priest to drunker: You will go in hell if you will not quit drinking.
Man: The person who sells the alcohol- Priest: yes, he will also go to hell.
Man: The person who sells food and snacks outside the shop? Priest: He will also go to hell.
Man: Ok, perfect - then hell is heaven.. :)) LOL
 
How Bedroom smells after marriages:

First 3 months - Perfumes and Flowers!

After 12 months - Baby Powder, Cream, diapers and Lotions!

After 7 Years - Balms, Move and pain killers..
 
Interesting Math:
Boy was teaching math to a girl.
He kissed to girl and again kissed and said: This is known as plus.
Than girl kissed guy and said: This is known as Minus.
Then they both started kissing one another and said: This is multiply.
At that time, girl’s father came and started slapping them and said: This is known as Dividing!!
 
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