that's me lol
Jokes
- Thread starter Mabal
- Start date
that's me lol
TallulahBlue
Resident
COP: Do you know why I pulled you over?
ME (taking a huge suck off of a helium balloon): I represent the Lullaby League, the Lullaby League, the Lullaby League. And in the name of the Lullaby League, I wish to welcome you to Munchkinland!
COP: Lol, okay fuck it, you can go!
ME (taking a huge suck off of a helium balloon): I represent the Lullaby League, the Lullaby League, the Lullaby League. And in the name of the Lullaby League, I wish to welcome you to Munchkinland!
COP: Lol, okay fuck it, you can go!
DurtySouth
Well-Known Member
Superman is flying around and spots Wonder Woman sunbathing naked in her back yard. He thinks to himself "I bet with my super speed, I can get a few quick pokes in and she'll never even know what hit her."
He circles around a few times, waiting for the perfect moment, then WWHHOOOOSSSSHHH! BLAM! ZZOOOMMM! He's gone in a flash.
Wonder Woman yells "What the hell was that!?!"
The Invisible Man says "I don't know, but my asshole sure hurts."
He circles around a few times, waiting for the perfect moment, then WWHHOOOOSSSSHHH! BLAM! ZZOOOMMM! He's gone in a flash.
Wonder Woman yells "What the hell was that!?!"
The Invisible Man says "I don't know, but my asshole sure hurts."
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TallulahBlue
Resident
HIM: You're not like the other girls.
ME: Yeah, that's pretty much how this works. We're literally all different ones.
ME: Yeah, that's pretty much how this works. We're literally all different ones.
TallulahBlue
Resident
INTERVIEWER: Tell me one accomplishment which you've recently achieved.
ME: I drank an entire bottle of butter pecan syrup at breakfast the other day.
INT: Haha, okay well I'm being serious.
ME: Oh, you have no idea...
ME: I drank an entire bottle of butter pecan syrup at breakfast the other day.
INT: Haha, okay well I'm being serious.
ME: Oh, you have no idea...
TallulahBlue
Resident
KACEY: I want to welcome y'all to the weekly meeting of the Multiple Personality Club.
KACEY: No one else is here.
KACEY: You're here.
KACEY: I'm here.
KACEY: I'M YOU, STUPID!
KACEY: OK EVERYONE, JUST CALM THE FUCK DOWN!
KACEY: No one else is here.
KACEY: You're here.
KACEY: I'm here.
KACEY: I'M YOU, STUPID!
KACEY: OK EVERYONE, JUST CALM THE FUCK DOWN!
TallulahBlue
Resident
*brings Cool-Whip to bed*
GIRLFRIEND: Oh, yay! We're trying something new!
ME (pulling out a pie): Huh? No, you'll have to get your own.
GIRLFRIEND: Oh, yay! We're trying something new!
ME (pulling out a pie): Huh? No, you'll have to get your own.
TallulahBlue
Resident
ME: Sometimes I think I have more imaginary conversations than real ones.
ZOOEY DESCHANEL: That's funny, Kacey! You are hilarious. You always make me smile.
ME: Thanks, Z. So wanna have sex again?
ZOOEY DESCHANEL: That's funny, Kacey! You are hilarious. You always make me smile.
ME: Thanks, Z. So wanna have sex again?
TallulahBlue
Resident
ME (trying to flirt on a blind date): You have to promise not to fall in love with me right away!
*flips hair, a large piece of cheese flies out of it*
HIM: Um, okay, that shouldn't a problem.
*flips hair, a large piece of cheese flies out of it*
HIM: Um, okay, that shouldn't a problem.
D
Deleted member 178467
Guest
I need this mug!!
TallulahBlue
Resident
The. Greatest. Fucking. Coffee. Mug. EVER!!!!!!!!
TallulahBlue
Resident
*Googles "what happens when you accidentally eat an entire roll of raw cookie dough?" *
[10 minutes later]
* "twice?" *
[10 minutes later]
* "twice?" *
A
Andy32
Guest
Love this cup