Jokes

If a barber makes a mistake, it’s a new style
If a politician makes a mistake, it’s a new law
If a scientist makes a mistake, it’s a new invention
If a Taylor makes a mistake, it’s a new style
If a teacher makes a mistake, it’s a new theory
But, if a student makes a mistake, it’s a Mistake.
 
If a paper comes very tough in exam,
Just close your eyes for a moment,
Take a deep breath and say loudly,
“This is a very interesting subject; I want to study it again”.
 
TallulahBlue said:
(sees neighbors bringing in KFC)

ME: *knocks on door, sobbing*

NEIGHBOR: Hello ... What's wrong, Kelsey?

ME: *stops sobbing* Actually, it's Kacey. Kelsey is the hotter one. *resumes sobbing* Have you seen my cat, Bojangles? I can't find him anywhere...

NEIGHBOR: No Kelsey, but if there's anything we can.....

ME (looking around them): Oh, I see you have KFC.

MUFFLED VOICE INSIDE MY COAT: meow ... meooow
Click to expand...
I just saw this. I also just saw Tomb Raider. I liked this better. :p
 
A friend asked a gentleman how it is that he never married?

Replied the gentleman, "Well, I guess I just never met the right woman ... I guess I've been looking for the perfect girl."

"Oh, come on now," said the friend, "Surely you have met at least on girl that you wanted to marry."

"Yes, there was one girl .. once. I guess she was the one perfect girl.

The only perfect girl I really ever met. She was just the right everything .. I really mean that she was the perfect girl for me."

"Well, why didn't you marry her," asked the friend.

"She was looking for the perfect man," he said.
 
Money, money, money

It can buy a House
But not a Home
It can buy a Bed
But not Sleep
It can buy a Clock
But not Time
It can buy you a Book
But not Knowledge
It can buy you a Position
But not Respect
It can buy you Medicine
But not Health
It can buy you Blood
But not Life
So you see, Money isn't everything. And it often causes pain and suffering.
I tell you all this because I am your Friend, and as your Friend I want totake away your pain and suffering...

So send me all your money and I will suffer for you.
A more true Friend you will never find:-)
 
What is true friendship?

You sad!, i sad! ,

You cry!, i cry!,

You happy!, i happy! ,

You laughing!, i laughing!

You jump out of the window — i look down you crying i still laughing.
 
Just imagine… Life without girls.
Result will be as:

Markets Silent,

Streets Empty,

Police At Rest,

All Mobile Companies In Loss,

No Sms,

No Flowers,

No Valentines,

No Candles,

No Perfumes,

No Travelling,

ALL THE MEN DIRECT TO HEAVEN
 
A drunk is sitting on the street curb in front of a bar. A stranger comes buy and asks if he's okay. The drunk replies by asking "Do you know who I am?"
The stranger says "No. Who are you?"
The drunk proudly says "I'm Jesus Christ... and I can prove it! Come with me!"
They enter the bar and the bartender looks up and yells "Jesus Christ! Are you here again?"

Ls x
 
Christen and Justin are best friends and both meet up after a month

Christen: Hi Justin, I’m sorry for what happened between us a month ago.

Justin doesn’t care about him and walk away

Christen: Are you still mad at me?

Justin: Twinkle, twinkle little star.

Christen: How I wonder what you are?

Justin: Wish I could hit you with my car.

Christen: Ok, you are still mad at me.
 
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