no

[Normalish]

If in the sea and you see a shark, thrash your arms around as much as you can, you'll scare that bastard away in no time

 

[Snap75]

Instead of replacing lightbulbs, simply remove the lightbulb, turn the switch on and lick the connection, this resets the connection.

 

[Locket44]

If you see someone crying ask if it is because of their haircut

 

[Casiotone]

Land sharking is highly advisable when trying to spice up your relationship

 

[pigheaded]

Of course you can lean your ladder on those power lines. They look sturdy

 

[Normalish]

When chopping onions close your eyes it'll stop you crying

 

[Casiotone]

This is a perfectly acceptable tool for a DIY circumcision......... just remember to use the safety gloves wouldn't want to cut your fingers

 

[Casiotone]

When driving, always weave about a bit that way all the other cars will stay away from you

 

[Snap75]

When in Rome, you can kill as many people as you like as long as you announce it is "for Caeser !"

 

[Casiotone]

Ignore that rumbling uncomfortable feeling in your abdomen, trust that it is just a fart and go for it.

 

[Casiotone]

It's time to test that feeling you can fly, I think 20m should be a safe starting height.

 

[Snap75]

Halloween prank for trick or treaters, expose the live wire on your doorbell. Make sure to film the results

 

[SweetLesGirl]

Believe everything you read in the media

 

[Stanthropical]

Let's not do the above, anyone. I will ban your dumb ass. Thanks.

Go to DickRatings chat and post your dick.

 

[Mrroscoe03]

Alligators make great house pets. Every family should have one.

 

[Snap75]

If you get pulled over and asked to use the breathalyzer, simply look down and ask the officer to "blow into this til I say stop"

 

[Nillsonss]

The next time she gets all mad and starts screaming at you, just say, "you better calm your ass down, woman, and I mean right now!" Works every time.

 

[Nillsonss]

No need to compliment her and tell her she looks nice or sexy or crap like that. She hears that enough from other guys and gets tired of it. You picked her so she already knows. Save your words for pointing out her flaws. That way she will know the things she needs to work on.

 

[Nillsonss]

NEVER ask her during sex if she is ready for you to come; she will think you have control over it. Then on those times when just want to get yours and go you can tell her shit like, you had me so turned-on baby, I couldn't help it, and she will LOVE it!
I need to limit my posts here. I don't want you guys knowing all my tried-and-true secrets.

 

[SweetLesGirl]

Put your hand open on a warm stove nothing will happens