Getting home from the beach Spangle was bereft She thought MJ was home But he'd already left There was a note on the fridge "Spankums my dear, I've popped to the pub To have me a beer" Oh really? she thought In her eye was a glint Because only that morning He said he was skint She checked in the jam jar Where pennies were gifted And to her dismay Found some of them lifted In a temper she left And driving Big Blue She arrived at the pub To look for her boo As she entered she gasped In shock and surprise Not really believing What she saw with her eyes For up on the stage A young woman was sat With legs wide apart And a bare naked cat The men clapped and cheered She heard dear MJ shout "Come on now love Pop another one out" As Spangle looked on MJ let out a cheer As a big pickled egg Flew past his ear Spangle was shocked But not by the act She's quite open-minded As a matter of fact What shook poor Spangle To her very core Was the five pence he chucked At the egg-sploding whore
Haha PMSL brilliant my dear....but I would never really waste 5p on a lady of disrepute when I have you ️xx.
Sorry I wasn't here when you came home today I had every intention of not going out and stay But I saw an advert about an act down the pub About a lady doing tricks hired by the card club I left you a short note pinned to the fridge door That I was going to see card tricks and nothing more I may have mentioned I was going for a beer or two But only because I was curious what tricks she'd do Yes I know I told you and believe me I was really broke My intention was just to see the act and only drink coke So I borrowed some money from our small gifted stash And once I got paid I intended to put back all the cash I knew you'd be angry to see some of the coins gone But wasn't expecting to the boozer angrily you'd come Arriving on Big Blue I saw you standing by the door The pub was so packed there was no room for more You looked on expecting her to shuffle the card pack Instead she was positioned onstage laying on her back She opened her legs wide and yes you did hear me cry For her to pop another out and I'll tell you my dear why Id had a bet with a young guy sitting right next to me And seeing that egg shoot passed me I yelled with glee For he had said she would only ever be able to fire one But I reckoned she'd launch a dozen before she was done So despite the fact that I went there to see her card tricks I actually managed by betting to sort out my financial fix So don't be too upset that you saw me throw her that 5p Id won enough to replace the money belonging to you and me But after you left I have even better news so please don't be glum We're rich cause I won a fortune shooting golf balls from my bum ️xx.
Haha yes this time next year we could be millionaires..... Or locked up for indecent exposure lol ️xx.
The night was approaching fast How long could I possibly last His handsomeness overtaking me Oh God...wonder if he can see Passion, lust, & desire My body is truly on fire Meet down by the cellar door Steal a secret kiss once more I will see you soon my love If only in my dream turtle dove
See me ~ I'm here ~right here The dark eyes are what I fear Did you not notice me? A mere shadow ~why can't you see One day the light will shine And sweet baby you will be mine!
The night was cold The lady was old The air was thick like butter The lady had titts like utters This poem sux big time The lady sux dick for a dime I have nothing more to say This lady is done for the day The end.
