Shitty ditties...

Getting home from the beach
Spangle was bereft
She thought MJ was home
But he'd already left
There was a note on the fridge
"Spankums my dear,
I've popped to the pub
To have me a beer"
Oh really? she thought
In her eye was a glint
Because only that morning
He said he was skint
She checked in the jam jar
Where pennies were gifted
And to her dismay
Found some of them lifted
In a temper she left
And driving Big Blue
She arrived at the pub
To look for her boo
As she entered she gasped
In shock and surprise
Not really believing
What she saw with her eyes
For up on the stage
A young woman was sat
With legs wide apart
And a bare naked cat
The men clapped and cheered
She heard dear MJ shout
"Come on now love
Pop another one out"
As Spangle looked on
MJ let out a cheer
As a big pickled egg
Flew past his ear
Spangle was shocked
But not by the act
She's quite open-minded
As a matter of fact
What shook poor Spangle
To her very core
Was the five pence he chucked
At the egg-sploding whore

:p
 
Spangle said:
Getting home from the beach
Spangle was bereft
She thought MJ was home
But he'd already left
There was a note on the fridge
"Spankums my dear,
I've popped to the pub
To have me a beer"
Oh really? she thought
In her eye was a glint
Because only that morning
He said he was skint
She checked in the jam jar
Where pennies were gifted
And to her dismay
Found some of them lifted
In a temper she left
And driving Big Blue
She arrived at the pub
To look for her boo
As she entered she gasped
In shock and surprise
Not really believing
What she saw with her eyes
For up on the stage
A young woman was sat
With legs wide apart
And a bare naked cat
The men clapped and cheered
She heard dear MJ shout
"Come on now love
Pop another one out"
As Spangle looked on
MJ let out a cheer
As a big pickled egg
Flew past his ear
Spangle was shocked
But not by the act
She's quite open-minded
As a matter of fact
What shook poor Spangle
To her very core
Was the five pence he chucked
At the egg-sploding whore

:p
Click to expand...

Haha PMSL brilliant my dear....but I would never really waste 5p on a lady of disrepute when I have you ️xx. :)
 
Spangle said:
Getting home from the beach
Spangle was bereft
She thought MJ was home
But he'd already left
There was a note on the fridge
"Spankums my dear,
I've popped to the pub
To have me a beer"
Oh really? she thought
In her eye was a glint
Because only that morning
He said he was skint
She checked in the jam jar
Where pennies were gifted
And to her dismay
Found some of them lifted
In a temper she left
And driving Big Blue
She arrived at the pub
To look for her boo
As she entered she gasped
In shock and surprise
Not really believing
What she saw with her eyes
For up on the stage
A young woman was sat
With legs wide apart
And a bare naked cat
The men clapped and cheered
She heard dear MJ shout
"Come on now love
Pop another one out"
As Spangle looked on
MJ let out a cheer
As a big pickled egg
Flew past his ear
Spangle was shocked
But not by the act
She's quite open-minded
As a matter of fact
What shook poor Spangle
To her very core
Was the five pence he chucked
At the egg-sploding whore

:p
Click to expand...
I'll reply when I can of course ️xx. :p
 
Spangle said:
Getting home from the beach
Spangle was bereft
She thought MJ was home
But he'd already left
There was a note on the fridge
"Spankums my dear,
I've popped to the pub
To have me a beer"
Oh really? she thought
In her eye was a glint
Because only that morning
He said he was skint
She checked in the jam jar
Where pennies were gifted
And to her dismay
Found some of them lifted
In a temper she left
And driving Big Blue
She arrived at the pub
To look for her boo
As she entered she gasped
In shock and surprise
Not really believing
What she saw with her eyes
For up on the stage
A young woman was sat
With legs wide apart
And a bare naked cat
The men clapped and cheered
She heard dear MJ shout
"Come on now love
Pop another one out"
As Spangle looked on
MJ let out a cheer
As a big pickled egg
Flew past his ear
Spangle was shocked
But not by the act
She's quite open-minded
As a matter of fact
What shook poor Spangle
To her very core
Was the five pence he chucked
At the egg-sploding whore

:p
Click to expand...
Sorry I wasn't here when you came home today

I had every intention of not going out and stay

But I saw an advert about an act down the pub

About a lady doing tricks hired by the card club

I left you a short note pinned to the fridge door

That I was going to see card tricks and nothing more

I may have mentioned I was going for a beer or two

But only because I was curious what tricks she'd do

Yes I know I told you and believe me I was really broke

My intention was just to see the act and only drink coke

So I borrowed some money from our small gifted stash

And once I got paid I intended to put back all the cash

I knew you'd be angry to see some of the coins gone

But wasn't expecting to the boozer angrily you'd come

Arriving on Big Blue I saw you standing by the door

The pub was so packed there was no room for more


You looked on expecting her to shuffle the card pack

Instead she was positioned onstage laying on her back

She opened her legs wide and yes you did hear me cry

For her to pop another out and I'll tell you my dear why

Id had a bet with a young guy sitting right next to me

And seeing that egg shoot passed me I yelled with glee

For he had said she would only ever be able to fire one

But I reckoned she'd launch a dozen before she was done

So despite the fact that I went there to see her card tricks

I actually managed by betting to sort out my financial fix

So don't be too upset that you saw me throw her that 5p

Id won enough to replace the money belonging to you and me

But after you left I have even better news so please don't be glum

We're rich cause I won a fortune shooting golf balls from my bum ️xx. :):)
 
The night was approaching fast
How long could I possibly last
His handsomeness overtaking me
Oh God...wonder if he can see
Passion, lust, & desire
My body is truly on fire
Meet down by the cellar door
Steal a secret kiss once more
I will see you soon my love
If only in my dream turtle dove
 
PumpkinPie said:
The night was approaching fast
How long could I possibly last
His handsomeness overtaking me
Oh God...wonder if he can see
Passion, lust, & desire
My body is truly on fire
Meet down by the cellar door
Steal a secret kiss once more
I will see you soon my love
If only in my dream turtle dove
Click to expand...
Fantastic Pumpkin Pie I love it ️xx. B :)
 
See me ~ I'm here ~right here
The dark eyes are what I fear
Did you not notice me?
A mere shadow ~why can't you see
One day the light will shine
And sweet baby you will be mine!
 
The night was cold
The lady was old

The air was thick like butter
The lady had titts like utters

This poem sux big time
The lady sux dick for a dime

I have nothing more to say
This lady is done for the day

The end.





 
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