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Our sincerest apologies, [valued customer].

We here at GoodYear, Inc. strive to make each day that we produce for our subscribers great, good, or, at minimum, gettable-through. We're sorry to hear that today's Wednesday has failed to deliver on that promise for you! Sometimes, well, things happen... One of the factory workers nods off at the conveyor belt and a spanner falls into the timespan, etc. We promise to remedy that (as advised slash insisted upon by our team of attorneys)!

Rest assured! We are hard at work on another Wednesday! One that meets our rigorous standards of excellence as well as protects us from litigation per our team of consumer fraud consultants. Once completed, we shall ship that replacement Wednesday directly to your door from the factory floor, at minimal cost to you. It shall arrive in, oh, say... about a week.

In perpetuity,
- GoodYear, Inc.
"Not every day is a great day, but hopefully good enough so we don't get sued (again)!"

Well, that is really lovely thank you. Not the best day/news and I appreciate it.
 
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Tiz Sunday

I was out for an early Sunday morning relaxing walk meandering my way back through a pasture minding my own business, when bang…. Stood in the centre of the field, presenting herself in what can only be described as some sort of twerk was a 🐮. Yea, right you say. Well, that is not all. Still in shock at this initial sight, out of the corner of my eye I caught a glimpse of something else. I refocused my eyes, wow, across the pasture just visible above the long meadow grass swaying in the wind was what appeared to be an 🦦 . The 🦦 appeared to be staring intently the 🐮, doing what can only be described as thrusting motions..

Somewhat disturbed by all of this, I promptly turned and ran for the hills!

Tiz all…
 
Sunday morning..



Picture this if you will. I was out for a gentle stroll when I saw a super beautiful 🐄 shaking her hips at me. I was enticed. I was aroused. I went in for a closer look. I began to thrust in her direction and beautiful dance ensued. Then out of the corner of my eye I saw a 🦆 with binoculars jerking it.


Put me right off. I saw her, she saw me, in a guilt stricken daze she fled.


Pervert.
 
Sunday morning..



Picture this if you will. I was out for a gentle stroll when I saw a super beautiful 🐄 shaking her hips at me. I was enticed. I was aroused. I went in for a closer look. I began to thrust in her direction and beautiful dance ensued. Then out of the corner of my eye I saw a 🦆 with binoculars jerking it.


Put me right off. I saw her, she saw me, in a guilt stricken daze she fled.


Pervert.
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