Loaded.
Aliens have invaded our planet and established a new, mandatory greeting. An alien enforcement orb has been assigned to each person which monitors all interactions by hovering near every person's head. Bad things will happen if you don't use your greeting each time you come in contact with any other individual in any setting. You get to pick one of the two greetings and you just use that one greeting for the rest of your life: I WANT TO EAT YOUR ASS or KICK ME IN THE DICK?