Banter Why Are They Single?

You know, what is really weird about this guy is that he always comes to his dates singing the theme song from Sesame Street the starts out “Sunny Day. Chasing the … rain away. My cock is hard and can you tell me how to get? How to get to Sesame Street”. Although I think “Sesame Street” is the woman’s vagina. Kind of weird and kind of cool right? I mean, who doesn’t like to be serenaded.
Editor’s note: these are not the actual words to the Sesame Street theme song
 
Speaking of being the prettiest, do you know she wears a dress with a squirrel tail on it? I couldn’t believe it but when I heard about it, I had to see it. Of course she wears no panties so looking at where the tail ends, it was a furry dildo. At first I was like, this guy is lucky as shit! Then I realized there was a trail of guys (and girls) checking her out. Guess that would be kind of annoying on a first date. :p
 
sexy-squirrel-costume-update-main.jpg

I'll have you know this is comfy af lol
 
I think it has been discussed at length here but this guy talks so damn much and loses the point of his mindless drivel so often, the woman (or guy) he begins his date with is not the same woman (or guy) he ends his dates with because he talked so damn much he went right into his next date.
Be quiet man!! Let your date talk. Guy is a damn Forrest Gump on the bus bench. Lol. Except instead of talking about shrimp he talks about sex toys.
 
She is single because she brings her toy collection along on every date. Except it is not the “beginners” kit. It is the one with cock rings, nipple clamps, penis weights, anal beads with look like golf balls on a rope, chain, cuffs, wips and candles to pour hot wax. What the hell Doctor Grimm. I thought it was bad enough to wear that squirrel tail. This looks like a torture kit. No wonder nobody is able to stand the first date.
Psst … where should I show up?
 
She’s obsessed with wearing shirts that cause her breasts to fall out. Then she does the cute fingers to lips and “ooops”. Hehehehe. Why does that make her single? Because once they pop out for the fifth time, the date is a virtual orgy of men and woman trying to swoon her. Guess I should be flattered? :)
 
He’s single because he shows up with a penis hat on and expects his dates to express admiration on what a big head he has. That way it sounds like they’re talking about the head of his cock and not just his oversized … head. Other than that, not sure why. Maybe try a vagina hat. That way if the girl tries to make the excuse she is not into guys, only women, you can say “Well you’re in luck! I have a large vagina also!” And point to your hat.
Ok … maybe we should reevaluate proper dating attire. Just try one without the penis and vagina hat. You may actually get a second date. And not just with your hand stoking yourself while wearing your penis hat and telling yourself, “You do have a big head. You do have a big head….”
 
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