Banter Why Are They Single?

From what I’ve seen of her pics, she has a great body and from what I’ve seen of her posts, she is very fun and engaging. However, I think the tattoo of “Single Forever” on her back is a huge deterrent. Only thing I can figure out.
 
Word on the street is this guy doesn’t even like going on dates. He just does it because he has to go get to the next levels of a relationship. If he could just go out and have his date put on a strap on and wear it around, he would be happy. Guess how many times that has happened? 1 and now she lives with him. All true except the strap on in public. And hating dates part. But the rest is true. :)
 
You ever hear those stories about there is that one person out there whom you can take home to mom and spend the rest of your life with? Yeah… this ain’t that guy unless your mom rides a Harley or a @Harley31 and wears spandex outfits around the house and has tattoos that read Bad Bitch and Anal Intrusion. If you don’t have that mom, then save your time. This guy’s idea of a first date is to take his dates home, make them ride his slip n slide smeared with pudding which leads right into a wrestling pit filled with jello. This is where his mom is. If you can make it past her, you are greeted with his actual slip n slide (this time I am talking about his dick) and you have to show him you are worthy of his cock.
Only reason I know is that I went over there drunk one night and he told me about it. I said “Bullshit” and took the plunge. Sure as shit, his mom was there and she is one tough lady and that 80’s rocker look was hot. But I took her down. When I got to the end and he was standing there with his cock out, I let his mom take me down.
Just a weird, odd ritual. If you are into that, this is your guy. Don’t worry among the good impression on the mom.
 
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Because this guy is always trying to upstage the ladies he goes out with, just like on FCN. I mean, nobody wants his ass when a few scrolls up you have @LillyK99 , @Peony8317, @GOTHPIXIE, @Harley31, @Locket44, @Thalassa, @Heather , @MissCin, @Chris_90 :)), @BabyBrit, @SweetLesGirl and @OnyxStorm showing off their goods. And to be honest, everybody really wants to see his lady’s ass anyways which I cannot blame them. He’s the type of egotistical guy that takes his dates to a strip club and upstages them.
Take the hint man. Nobody wants to see you laying naked on the beach when Heidi is next to you sunbathing. Nobody wants to see you run down @Steve1972 ‘s pudding slip n slide naked when you bring over any of the above people.
Editor’s Note: This will in no way deter me from posting pics of my ass, gentitals or anything in my ass.

Editor’s note 2: if any names were missed above, please know it was not intentional and you are all beautiful to me and I would fuck every one of you. :)

Editor’s note 3: Due to the small amount of memory in Fildo’s head due to lack of blood flow to his cranium, we would like to add @jen50 to the list with our sincerest apologies and ask her to forgive him for this obvious mistake.
 
Because he likes to walk in the shadows to enact his favorite role as a creeper. It excites him. Not all that bad role playing on your first date. I think the kicker is when he walks his dates to the door and after a quick kiss goodbye, slowly slinks into the bushes. Kind of creepy, right?
 
Women are intimidated by his legendary toy collection and insecure of their abilities to compete with batteries
 
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