Banter Why Are They Single?

Her body odour attracts animals and everytime she turns up for a date there's an entourage of wild animals with her but she's so used to it she doesn't even notice.
 
Because he never stops talking. Not even to eat his food. Then the only time he wants to know anything about his date is when he asks her, “Are you going to eat that?” Or “what’s the matter? Not hungry?” As food is flying out of his mouth.
 
Locket44 said:
He shouts out random sexual references in his sleep...69....BBC....Blowjob etc and this goes on throughout the night.
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Thought we weren’t sharing bed secrets. Ok then …..
She likes to play the “meow” game on her dates. What is that, you ask? It’s where you just randomly say the word meow during normal conversation. Usually goes like this.
Locket: Really could use a drink right about “meow”
Date: *snorts a laugh*. “Did you just say “meow” at the end”?
L: No. why would I say “meow”?
D: Oh … I’m sorry. I must have heard something else. Let’s order.
L: I’ll have a double Long Island Iced meow.
Waiter: Long Island Iced Tea?
L: Yes, Meow.
D: Ummm … you just said it again?
L: Meow?
D: yes.
L: No. I said “Yes, please” meow
D: *stares for a second*. Is this a game?
L: I don’t think so. I just really want a drink right meow. Aren’t you ordering anything, meow?
D: Fuck this. How do I get these ladies. *leaves*
L: *Looks at the waiter*. Told you I could get in at least seven before he leaves. Get me my free drink, please.
 
Ever seen those movies where the guy acts like he’s a spy to impress the ladies? Let me introduce you to that guy. He usually just tells his dates he canny say much about what he does but if something comes up, he may have to leave quickly. Now she is very intrigued. So he tells her just enough to keep her wondering but dangles enough clues to imply he’s a secret agent. Inevitably, when the check comes, he looks at his watch and whispers, “We gotta go. Head to the exit over there and meet me outside. We can’t be seen leaving together for your own safety.”
“But didn’t we come in together…”
“MOVE”
He bolts out the door leaving his date staring as he runs into the night.
“I can’t keep dating these guys off FCN. For fuck sake.”
*Opens the “Farmers only” app…
 
Because every time she goes on a date, she is looking at new places to take her selfies. They could be walking and she runs up to a fountain and holds the phone out for a selfie. Inside a restaurant, she’s staring at the stairwell or chandeliers and thinking of a black and white photo op. Might be in a movie and she pictures (no pun intended) herself lying on the stage naked with the screen as a backdrop. Doesn’t hear a word of what her date is saying because she’s too busy imagining her outfit, or not outfit, and the possibilities.
 
Fildo66 said:
Thought we weren’t sharing bed secrets. Ok then …..
She likes to play the “meow” game on her dates. What is that, you ask? It’s where you just randomly say the word meow during normal conversation. Usually goes like this.
Locket: Really could use a drink right about “meow”
Date: *snorts a laugh*. “Did you just say “meow” at the end”?
L: No. why would I say “meow”?
D: Oh … I’m sorry. I must have heard something else. Let’s order.
L: I’ll have a double Long Island Iced meow.
Waiter: Long Island Iced Tea?
L: Yes, Meow.
D: Ummm … you just said it again?
L: Meow?
D: yes.
L: No. I said “Yes, please” meow
D: *stares for a second*. Is this a game?
L: I don’t think so. I just really want a drink right meow. Aren’t you ordering anything, meow?
D: Fuck this. How do I get these ladies. *leaves*
L: *Looks at the waiter*. Told you I could get in at least seven before he leaves. Get me my free drink, please.
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LMAO This is something I would actually do :p


Because he has a fetish for cars of a particular kind, every time he sees it he randomly strips and poses on it asking his date to take pics.
 
Locket44 said:
LMAO This is something I would actually do :p


Because he has a fetish for cars of a particular kind, every time he sees it he randomly strips and poses on it asking his date to take pics.
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Hahahahahaha … knew it was you I heard “meowing” at the restaurant. I asked Heidi, “Do you hear a cat?”

Anywho …she gave up the small talk and went right to the sex talk. So from the moment they sit down and he is trying to get to know her with small talk, like “So how long have you been in the area?” or “What do you like to eat when you come here”? She responds, “Yeah, yeah … let me make it easy for you (insert name). I just want to take you home and make you my bitch tonight.”
“Whoa … coming on a little strong aren’t you”?
“Look .. are we going to get this to go and fuck tonight”?
“Is this how you treat all your first dates”?
“Shit. If they’re lucky which they usually are. Get it”
“I didn’t think…”
“Let’s go have sex!!!”
It usually goes one of two ways from there. Pretty forceful on d she gave up the cat approach. :)
 
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