Advice and Opinion Ask a woman

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NerdiGuy said:
Women, who do you as a group consistently date and fuck assholes, but send the nice guys to the friend zone?
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Your question is significantly colored by your experience of your relationship ending after 30+ years when that is not what you wanted. Your generalization is your way of plastering your hurt / sadness / contempt / hate on 3.9 billion women, to avoid the fact that that woman's actions are hers and hers only.

Who is this woman you are now talking about? Your ex or someone new? If you feel like the gay friend who has to listen to her talk about the other man, and be hurt over and over by it, then why are you doing it? If she doesn't realize how you're being affected, say so. Tell her that you're not ready and able to listen and be there for it. If she cares for you, she'll respect your feelings
If not, it's time to step away.
 
NerdiGuy said:
Great stuff ladies, keep it coming. And yeah, I've been the guy that hears about the asshole that she's been dating for months, but is too kind to take advantage of the situation.
It's a situation that is frustrating as hell. It's like being the gay friend but without the benefit of being fabulous....
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Thought about this for a while. I know you mean well @NerdiGuy ... but you really shouldn't be making friends with women with intentions to potentially date them or sleep with them. You should be making friends with women to you know, be friends with them. If you have other intentions it's insincere to keep getting upset with them because you keep over analyzing their romantic mistakes. Holding it over their heads and upsetting yourself "WHY NOT ME WHY DO THEY KEEP PICKING ASSHOLES" is unhealthy and continuing to look at women friendships like potential relationships, when women do not see it that way is not a good look for you.

If you want to date them you should be clear with them upon first meeting. If you go into a friendship with a woman and get mad that she only sees you as a friend, that's your own doing. And she may never feel romantically about you and it has nothing to do with you being a good man. Everyone makes mistakes with dating partners, it's a communication error. You should be more honest with what you want in a relationship and maybe don't settle for a friendship if that's not what you want. If you can't handle being someone's friend when you have feelings for them, don't be friends with them.
 
LADIES! Now that I have your attention, ass-to-mouth, yes or no and why? Thank you and have a great day:)
 
Mona21 said:
Well... I can only talk as someone who is occasionally looking for Tinder dates or something, but it seems to me that your question is more about committed long-term or marriages, in which case, yeah I'd say for many people the standards go up a notch. Like, I can decide to fool around for a bit with a guy who just has a handsome face, or is really confident (usually means he is comfortable with his dick, which is just extra bragging rights honestly, for me and for him, but the confidence boost goes a long way).
It's only when it comes to questions of marriage that all those other things like money, job, having a house and being a nice person come up.

On another note, it's weird that you phrased it "can't expect all the good things in ANY guy", as if women are so demanding that no man can hope to live up to the expectations yet somehow babies are still being born to this day, those people managed to get together and start a family, or do you think all of them hate each other? :p
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Really well put together. And you're right I meant it from a long term position of dating someone. Of course when you're talking about the short term Tinder dates or just fooling around, you'd go for the looks. That's a given in my opinion.

Hahaha you stressed on ANY guy, and I stressed on ALL good things lol
 
Mona21 said:
I mean it was just the phrasing, like I said. Basically when you wrote and then repeated: "... in a guy, any guy for that matter", the emphasis is put on that.

Anyway, to expand on things that may be deal-breakers for a long-term relationship (some might be pretty obvious but well):
Addictions (any kind really, I don't just mean heroin)
Bad hygiene (or unwillingness to change it, this includes shaving certain parts and taking care of pubic hair)
Being Controlling and Jealous/Paranoid (the typical "Are you going out with friends dressed like this? Guys will hit on you and you'll cheat!" Etc etc)
Obesity
Laziness

I think that's a good starting recipe and not too much to ask for ANY person. I of course abide by the same rules.
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Fabulous points actually you've listed. I'd steal a few these points if I was ever asked something regarding a woman.

Most often, not always, obesity is due to a few reasons that could relate back to laziness and an addiction (bad eating habits).
 
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AlexWS said:
LADIES! Now that I have your attention, ass-to-mouth, yes or no and why? Thank you and have a great day:)
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No lol not my thing

ChocolateCockOnCam said:
Ladies... Honestly you cannot expect all the good things in a guy, any guy for that matter - What are a few things that you'd be okay to concede in your guy?
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And i'm with most of @Mona21 's answers
- Addiction that I am not equipped to deal with. I have been humbled to have been around people with issues like this and depending on the issue I cannot help them and cannot deal with it entirely.
- Bad Hygiene , self-explanatory I really shouldn't have to tell you to bathe regularly
- Low confidence I would want my S/O to feel confident with what they do and the life choices they have/make. It's alright to feel less confident sometimes but I don't want to constantly have to assure you that you're doing a good job/look good etc
- Having no motivation/drive I would want my partner to continue to learn new skills, to continue to seek out better opportunities and better themselves. I don't ever want them to settle for anything. I am not sure I could be with someone who is just okay at never advancing at anything, through life or doing anything or going anywhere.
- Clingyness I really need my own space and i'm happy to talk to you, spend time with you. But I need to be alone and independent sometimes. I hate this culture of constantly being on my phone and if I don't respond to messages in five minutes I must be ignoring you.
 
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Busty_Nerd said:
No lol not my thing



And i'm with most of @Mona21 's answers
- Addiction that I am not equipped to deal with. I have been humbled to have been around people with issues like this and depending on the issue I cannot help them and cannot deal with it entirely.
- Bad Hygiene , self-explanatory I really shouldn't have to tell you to bathe regularly
- Low confidence I would want my S/O to feel confident with what they do and the life choices they have/make. It's alright to feel less confident sometimes but I don't want to constantly have to assure you that you're doing a good job/look good etc
- Having no motivation/drive I would want my partner to continue to learn new skills, to continue to seek out better opportunities and better themselves. I don't ever want them to settle for anything. I am not sure I could be with someone who is just okay at never advancing at anything, through life or doing anything or going anywhere.
- Clingyness I really need my own space and i'm happy to talk to you, spend time with you. But I need to be alone and independent sometimes. I hate this culture of constantly being on my phone and if I don't respond to messages in five minutes I must be ignoring you.
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Thank you so much for such a detailed response. I'd have to agree with most of things on here. As clingy as I am, but I don't encroach on my girl's space. Now that's imaginary because I ain't got one. Lol
 
ChocolateCockOnCam said:
Thank you so much for such a detailed response. I'd have to agree with most of things on here. As clingy as I am, but I don't encroach on my girl's space. Now that's imaginary because I ain't got one. Lol
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That's fair! I've just been unlucky to attract very needy people who need my attention all the time. It's flattering. But I have a job, I have a life and other things i'm doing. I cannot stay glued to my phone or hang out all the time. It's exhausting and my spoons are already very low. I would hope that the other person also has responsibilities and hobbies and things they like or need to do as well. It makes spending time together all the more special.
 
Busty_Nerd said:
That's fair! I've just been unlucky to attract very needy people who need my attention all the time. It's flattering. But I have a job, I have a life and other things i'm doing. I cannot stay glued to my phone or hang out all the time. It's exhausting and my spoons are already very low. I would hope that the other person also has responsibilities and hobbies and things they like or need to do as well. It makes spending time together all the more special.
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I completely understand what you mean. A relationship should be two individuals having their own lives coming together and spending quality time together and then going back to these lives on repeat. If one makes the other their life, that's what takes away all that independence and having your own life.
 
Ladies....How do you feel about guys who don't quite have everything figured out yet and still have issues to deal with? E.g Still unsure of what to do in life, not quite sure of himself and still maybe dealing with things like anxiety, depression or periods of low motivation.
 
CyberGuy69 said:
Ladies....How do you feel about guys who don't quite have everything figured out yet and still have issues to deal with? E.g Still unsure of what to do in life, not quite sure of himself and still maybe dealing with things like anxiety, depression or periods of low motivation.
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I mean, I've been there, I think everyone has been here. I think as long as you're actively trying to get into a better position like trying to find your passion, looking for new jobs, volunteering places, finding new hobbies etc. Then that would be great. And if you suffer from mental illness as long as you are taking your meds, getting therapy, talking to doctors, attempting to seek help for your depression/mental illness then I wouldn't be turned off by this. I've been around many people my entire life who have had mental illness so I am very sensitive to that issue. I personally couldn't be around someone who refuses to seek help for their mental illness. But periods of low motivation are normal for people with certain mental illnesses so I would understand if this issue would come up if we decided to become an official couple.
 
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