Banter Break Up With The User Above You

  • Thread starter Thread starter CantBeTamed
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@Slopps I’m sorry but you and I are over. At first I thought it was cute that you’d only eat cheese. I even called you my cute little mouse… but it’s honestly just disturbing now. The way you can gnaw through a wheel of Muenster in record timing like a starved cat feasting on its owner makes me sick. I’ve also come to realize that you will never love me the way you love cheese and quite frankly I can’t handle that. Plus your breath stinks like cheese literally allll the time…
 
The pizza roleplays are getting weird. It used to be hawt when you would tell me to stuff your crust and to not "pull the pie from the oven til the bell gets rung". I was even ok with pineapple til i saw where you wanted to put it :eek::eek::eek:. But the time has come. My crust is too soft and doughy and your sauce has lost the spice. I'm closing the doors on us.

You can still call for take out though when you've been out late drinking.
 
I thought Flirtinghubby was just a goal you were aspiring to be! I didn't know you were really married!!! And playing Pizza Parlor with another women!? How could you? I gave you the best few days of my life... it's over!
 
Ya know...I was putting together a whole big essay integrating all the titles of Jude Deveraux's novels into it....in hopes of getting the affection of AB1978 because it was the only random fact I could find about her....it was going to be witty and smart, and amazing, and you ruined it Misha....you're a ruiner....some kind of awesome aussie Ruiner!

I hate you!
I cant do it!

I need to look up random information on you and craft something and edit it in later (if there is any)

I'm done
 
Dear Someguy1323,
I stare at the wall with no tears left to cry. Whatever happened to what we once had? You used to give me so much attention and now every time I turn around your either stealing my craft supplies for your dick or you're online searching for a new onesie. You even canceled our dinner date reservation with friends that we planned 6 months ago so you could take pictures of yourself with your onesie, then laid around for hrs naked, refusing to be interrupted while you posed for nudes. You've gained 80 pounds (I don't mind) but it concerns me that instead of our sex workouts you're just lying there naked, or adding to your onesie collection. The spare bedrooms closet, bed, dresser, and floor are stuffed full of them! You have one week to get everything out. I just can't do this anymore. If you need anything, call my mother.
~Lilly.

P.S. Don't touch my instapot or I'll cut you.
 
Ms. Lilly,

You're just too cold-hearted to cry the tears we never shared. You ignored me for the longest time and only now you pay attention. You always want dinner and are waiting in the car for me to drive us through the McDonald's line at 3am.

So I am now going to Wendy's and have her hot breakfast as she won't make me wait in line to feed upon her.
 
It's too late @AZhoe because I broke up with you at 3 this morning after you refused to take me to McDonald's. I know they're not open at that time but I have this compulsive urge to try just incase! And you know how strong my.... urges are :oops: And also, you're essentially slapping me in my face (that's not where I like it and you know it) by going to Wendy's for a hot breakfast when you know all that you need is between my legs damnit. I left the official break up letter in your custom made Richard Simmons lunch box in our former "secret place". Goodbye!
 
I can't deal with the constant disappointments brought about by your infidelities with men, women, selfie sticks, phallic shaped objects from whatever source. Its got to stop. Honestly you'd think I didn't notice those tell tale signs, like, the receipt left in your pantyhoes for that lifetime subscription of "what dick" magazine, the cupboard full of lace panties that are 3 sizes too big, the call history on our shared cell phone, who the fuck is Big Betty XXL?
OK I've had enough.
 
Why you low down, good for nothing money grabbing poo, how dare you. You took too much. You low down gater mouthed poo how dare you. Get out and take that dog with you. You went to far…hit the dog hey hit the dog get out.. sweet pussy Pauline lol
 
If I Google that (no fuck it, I'm gonna fuck fuck go that) will I find it spread all over my screen mother fucker?
Thought so.
Can't have you pretending to be witty and my boyfriend can we?
We're done. Please pay the nice rap man his dues on your way out.
 
Seriously you are going to pretend like you didn’t just do that? OMG how many times are you going to stomp all over my heart?? That’s it I’m done!




Ok I’ll probably take you back if you bring me flowers.
 
I can't believe you would push me out of the bus like that. In the painted dogs enclosure. After I get my legs reattached I'm walking out on you.
 
Don't pretend that I haven't seen you! Constantly traipsing around in flimsy lingerie, winking at any poor boy that happens to oggle your breasts. Only yesterday I saw you flash the mailman. I can't take it. I'm not just gonna sit around here twiddling my thumbs until the inevitable day when I walk in on you with another man's cock between your legs!
 
So that's who Fun Gus is, eh? Well, you lost. It's the agony of da feet for you. I'm going skiing somewhere in this wide world of spurts and I'll tumble down the hill with Jill now.
 
I thought I could deal with your flirting but I can’t share you anymore. I have to walk away …
 
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