Banter Bull-shit in a MothaFuka's head.

If I were a South Park character, here's some of the shit I'd probably say.

Kyle: *says something stupid but funny to me*
*freindly laughing* Kyle, you fucking ginger shut up lol

Cartman: *just being Cartman*
Me: God Dammit Cartman stop your shit you pussy fatass.

Butters: *just being Butters*
Me, muttering to myself: That little guy is just too innocent for his own good...

Token: *Is black*
Me: *fourth wall breaking* Hey do you ever notice you're the only black kid on the show? Like seriously, Chef doesn't have like a kid or a nephew or some shit?

Randy: *just being Randy*
Me: *talking to Stan* Dude, your dad is weird as fuck...
Stan: Just... dont pay attention to him..

Kenny: *dies*
Me: *fourth wall breaking* Damn... the producers need to give the poor guy a break..

Tweek: *Freaking the fuck out about something*
Me: Tweek, chill the fuck out you fucking spazz, jesus...

Satan: *shows up*
Me: *happy* Satan!! Long time no see dude!!
Cartman, Kenny, Kyle, and Stan: *Looking at me wondering how the hell I know Satan on a personal level*
 
I remember this one fucked up thing i did in second grade to one of my teachers, i didnt know it was bad till she yelled at me but.... all the kids and me were sitting on the carpet talking about books we were reading and the teacher was making sure everyone got a turn and shit. And this one girl had one of those Zoobooks that they used to have. And the teacher went "And what are you reading?" And the girl said "Im reading a Zoobook about hippos." And to be nice n shit like teachers are the teacher went "Wow! I love hippos!" And my asshole kid self leaned over to the girl next to me and said quietly "Probably cuz she looks like one haha" and the teacher heard it and she was a pretty big lady so she suddenly just yelled "NICOLE!!! THAT IS VERY VERY RUDE!!! GO MOVE YOUR CAR!!!" and the clasroom had this thing with green yellow and red and if your car magnet got on red you were in trouble and i was already on yellow so i got all butthurt cuz now i was on red. And the most fucked up part of this story is that i never apologized. Yeah... i was a fucked up kid.
 
As im sitting in the interrogation room of the police station, the officer looks at me and says "Ma'am, what made you think it was a good idea to throw a bag of fruit punch out on the freeway in a blanket?" Do you realize the carnage you caused today? A 15 car pile up, 6 injured, 2 dead."

I look at him and go, "Officer, it was a practical joke of dark humor."
"Dark humor? What the hell you mean by that?"
"I thought it would be funny to make someone think they just ran over a baby."
"Ma'am, thats not funny. That is the exact opposite of funny. Its sick and twisted."
"Hey, just cuz youre not laughing doesnt mean no one else is."
"But nobody is laughing at this prank you pulled."
"I happen to know four people who are laughing right at this moment."
"Really? Now who might that be?"
Surpressing my laughter, I say "Me, Myself, and I. And also your mother."
 
Imagine if Metal stars were characters in an MMA fighting game like Mortal Kombat. David Draiman(singer of Disturbed)'s special move would be "The Sickness" where he yells "AH WAH AH AH AH!!!!" And shoots a beam of energy out of his mouth which reverses the opponents controls. Rob Zombie has the move "Dragula" where he hits the opponent with his car. And also Rob has "Superbeast Mode" as like a powerup or some shit where he turns into a werewolf. Rob Halford(Metallica) has special move "Master of Puppets" where he can take control of the opponent, making them damage themselves. Thats a game i wanna see.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Trending content

Back
Top