Explain how to.

Eating a popsicle

First you need to reach down and pull it out with your hand very gently, even though it's hard, it's also very delicate. Best spot is to grip the wood at its base. Then couple options here, some like to tease by just licking it. Swirling your tongue around the tip, down one side and up the other before going down on it. Others like to make an "O" with their lips and take it into their mouth. You can just suck the tip, slowly moving down the shaft or if you have a larger mouth just take it in fully. Always be sucking, to really enjoy all the juices coming from it. And remember to swallow or you can get all messy and sticky.
 
Playing a video game

Make sure you have a comfortable seat and a clear view, grasp it firmly, resting in your lap, your thumbs will work the rods, making sure to hit the buttons just right, don’t get too caught up in the moment or you might hurt something, focus and think as the goal gets closer, pressing and rubbing faster and faster until you reach the climax
 
SkiDude101 said:
Eating a popsicle

First you need to reach down and pull it out with your hand very gently, even though it's hard, it's also very delicate. Best spot is to grip the wood at its base. Then couple options here, some like to tease by just licking it. Swirling your tongue around the tip, down one side and up the other before going down on it. Others like to make an "O" with their lips and take it into their mouth. You can just suck the tip, slowly moving down the shaft or if you have a larger mouth just take it in fully. Always be sucking, to really enjoy all the juices coming from it. And remember to swallow or you can get all messy and sticky.
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SkiDude101 said:
Polishing a Table:

I like to grip my wood real tight and polish it with my hand in long smooth strokes so it is nice and hard. Sometimes if it's been awhile I need to really get on it and stroke it back and forth really fast and rough to get it to finish right. And when done don't forget to cleanup after cause it can stain your linen.
Click to expand...

BWAHAHAHAHAAAAA
FUCKING GENIUS!!!!!
 
EveHerself said:
Playing a video game

Make sure you have a comfortable seat and a clear view, grasp it firmly, resting in your lap, your thumbs will work the rods, making sure to hit the buttons just right, don’t get too caught up in the moment or you might hurt something, focus and think as the goal gets closer, pressing and rubbing faster and faster until you reach the climax
Click to expand...

Was there a hard drive connected to your X-Box ? :p
 
He comes from his blind side and nails him from behind
He's off to the sideline for a quick blow
He gets penetration in the backfield
He gets it off just in time
He finds the hole and explodes through it
He rams it in for a quick score
All he has to do is keep pounding it up the middle
He finds his tight end
When you get down there, you have to pound it in
That hole was so big you could drive a truck through it


This is how you play American football
 
I’m not gonna sit there coming up with such innuendos. All the shit we come up with is plagiarization of various things we’ve seen/read in life anyway.

Nothing is original. You aren’t making a point.
 
PM on Hyundai converter dolly

  1. Check unit history
  2. Ensure unit registration is present
  3. Do a walk around and look for any body damage or broken parts, this would be a good time to conduct a light and air test.
  4. Preform a suspension check, check all axle and suspension components including shocks, U-bolts, air springs, RP-12 valve, brake chambers, slack adjusters, S-cam and inbord S-cam bushings, brakes, drums, wheel seals, and tourqe and radius arms.
  5. Check PSI system and ABS system for air leaks or fault codes.
  6. Check hub grease levels and hub seals, check the condition of wheel bearings.
  7. Ensure spindle nut is torqued to the appropriate ft lbs. Inch (100)
  8. Check tires for damage or flat spots, check air pressure (if below 85 psi. Or the tire tread is below 2/32nds, tire must be replaced).
  9. Check for loose or damaged lug nuts or studs. (Lugs should be torqued to 600 ft lbs).
  10. Change glad hand seals every PM.
  11. If hook up hoses are faded, replace the hoses and glad hands if applicable.
  12. Measure and record brake lining (if below 10/32nds, replace both sides)
  13. Check brake lining position (brake spider).
  14. Finally, check and operate fifth wheel for damage and ease of operation, adjust if necessary.
 
Adjusting the left rear muffler bearings on a 1892 Honda Cherokee.
  1. Ensure that the battery is disconnected, you can conduct an electrical test by placing a wet index finger on both of the battery posts + and -.
  2. Remove the stearing column, why? Cuz i said so.
  3. Once the stearing column is removed, replace it with one of those low rider tiny chain stearing wheel things.
  4. Locate and remove muffler bearings, on this model, they should be located underneath the transmission intercooler flux capacitor, note that the brake lines will be in the way, to make the job easier just cut them off. Brakes are for pussies.
  5. To remove the the bearings you'll need a 9.4454 mm socket and a 1/64 wrench, you'll also need to call upon the demonds of the underworld to help eliminate any rusty parts, cuz that seems to be the only feesable way to do so, WD-40 is useless.
  6. Then replace the bearings and put it all back together, if the problem persists, soak the vehicle in gasoline and egnite it while pushing it off a cliff.
Now your ASE certified!
 
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