The problem is there is only one place that takes a stripping pig! The tips are mostly apples a bacon..but my boss says if I keep it up I could be famous!
The problem is Chef @Chris_90 has wined and dined you with his chefery skills and his... nothing-but-an-apron attire that you are easily seated into never leaving your house again.
The problem is your so mentally incapacitated you don't know where to get help and you're isolated so no one knows you need help. So you stay in your basement.