Jokes

3 nuns were traveling along the new wall at the Mexican border when their bus struck a land mine and was blown to bits. Upon their arrival at their final destination, the gate saint greeted them with a hearty "hidey ho." When they finally realized where they were, they began the admissions process, and after completion, the gate saint told them that since they devoted their lives to God, and remained pure, he was able to grant them 1 wish each.

The first nun, ever curious about the opposite sex, said she'd like to try, just to see what she'd passed on for all these years.
"How big do you want it" asked the gate saint.
"Well, I'm not sure" replied the nun. "I suppose I can go with whatever is average."
The gate saint flips through his book, scrolls down a few lines and directs the nun through the gate, down the hall, second left, first door on the right. "Welcome, and enjoy."

The second nun steps forward and says that sex thing sounds like a good idea - she'd like some too.
"How big do you want it" asked the gate saint.
"I've always heard that bigger is better" replied the nun. "Can I get twice whatever average is, please?"
The gate saint flips through his book again, scrolls down a few lines and directs the nun through the gate down the hall, third right, the door straight ahead.
"Welcome and enjoy."

The third nun steps forward and says she'd also like to try the sex.
"How big do you want it" asked the gate saint.
"I'm not as adventurous as the others" replied the nun. "Gimme the smallest you've got."
The gate saint flips through his book, then some more, all the way from the front to the back. He puts the book away, pulls out another and starts flipping through that one. He stops, scrolls down the page, looks up at the nun, and with great regret, explains "I'm sorry, ma'am, but Mabal hasn't died yet."
 
A duck walks into a bar and asks: "Got any Bread?"

Barman says: "No."

Duck says: "Got any bread?"

Barman says: "No."

Duck says: "Got any bread?"

Barman says: "No, we have no bread."

Duck says: "Got any bread?"

Barman says: "No, we haven't got any fucking bread."

Duck says: "Got any bread?"

Barman says: "No, are you deaf?! We haven't got any fucking bread, ask me again and I'll nail your fucking beak to the bar you irritating bastard of a fucking bird!"

Duck says: "Got any nails?"

Barman says: "No"

Duck says: "Got any bread?
 
Husband had murdered his wife and buried her outside in the garden. When getting arrested the policeman asked him "can you tell me why you left ur wife's arse out the ground? "
The man replied " I needed somewhere to park my bike!"
 
Two potatoes are standing on a street corner...how do you tell which one is the prostitute?

The one with the sticker IDAHO....

:-)
 
HELLO FOLKS,

BACK AGAIN!...:cool: SINCE IT IS NOW OFFICIALLY, THE USA HOLIDAY KNOWN AS, "THANKSGIVING"...:):cool:
I HAVE MADE UP MY OWN NAUGHTY JOKE, FOR YOUR READING PLEASURE, (GIGGLES)...:p;):cool:

WHAT DO THE WHORES IN FCN CHAT, AND FEMALE TURKEYS HAVE IN COMMON?...o_O:cool:

ANSWER!...

THEY BOTH LOVE,"COCKS", AND THEY DEFINITELY LOVE TO "GOBBLE!"...(GIGGLES):eek::p:D:rolleyes:;):cool:

A A 1 a a Emoji IN SHOCK PIC 1.jpg

O M G! DID SHE REALLY SAY THAT?!... WOW!...LMAO

HAPPY THANKSGIVING TO ALL THE AMERICANS!... OH, AND THE ONLY "BONE", I WANT YOU TO SAVE FOR ME IS... THE "WISH" BONE!... (GIGGLES)...:p;):cool:

NOW! NOW!... YOU PEOPLE ARE SO NAUGHTY!...:p:D;):cool: GET YOUR MINDS OUT OF THE DANG GUTTER!...HAHAHAHAHAHA...:p:D;):cool: ENJOY YOUR HOLIDAY!:);):cool: TTFN!...:p;):cool:

~StarFire~:cool:

A 1 A A TURKEY HUMOR 11.jpg

(GIGGLES)...:p:D;):cool: HAPPY TURKEY DAY!!!... YOU BUNCH OF TURKEYS!...HAHAHAHA!

~StarFire~:cool:


 
Stanthropical said:
vomiting

Male_uk said, Somebody kill it before it lays eggs.
Click to expand...

HELLO STAN, AND MALE_UK,

A 1 A A EMOJI U TROLLS STINK 1.jpg

GEE HAVEN'T YOU TWO HEARD OF PERSONAL HYGIENE???!!!...HAHAHAHAHAHA!:eek::rolleyes::cool:

YOU KNOW IT'S NOT SO MUCH THE SMELL THAT BOTHERS ME...:eek::rolleyes::cool:
IT'S THE BURNING OF MY EYES THAT DOES!...LMAO :D:p:rolleyes::cool:

HAPPY THANKSGIVING AMERICA!!!... HAHAHAHAHA!!!:D:p:rolleyes::cool:

YOUR TROLL TIME IS OVER!... I'VE GTG BETTER THINGS TO DO TODAY, THEN "TROLL", THE FORUMS, LIKE YOU TWO!...LMFAO:p:rolleyes::cool:

~StarFire~:cool:

 
Last edited:
Ironic you complaining about your eyes burning when we have to look at your comments and pathetic excuse for memes.

I'm also from the UK, the clue is in the name, so I don't celebrate today. To me the only thing special about today is its Friday tomorrow.
 
An Electrician is in a queue at his local Asda when he notices a rather dishy blonde behind him has just raised her hand and smiled hello to him. He is rather taken aback that such a looker would be waving to him, and although familiar he can't place where he might know her from, so he says "sorry do you know me?"
She replies "I maybe mistaken, but I thought you might be the father of one of my children!"
His mind shoots back to the one and only time he has been unfaithful, he says "are you that stripogram on my stag night that I shagged on the snooker table in front of all my mates whilst your mate whipped me with some wet celery and stuck a cucumber up my rear?"

"No", she replies, "I'm your son's English Teacher".
 
I said to my wife the other day,
“Why don’t you tell me when you have an orgasm?”
She said “I don’t like to ring you when you’re at work!”

Last night I reached for my liquid Viagra and accidentally swigged from a bottle of Tippex.
I woke up this morning with a huge correction.
 
On Black Friday, I brought a load of stuff online but used my Donor Card instead of my Debit Card to pay.

Cost me an arm and a leg!
 
HELLO FOLKS,

GOT A BRAND NEW JOKE, I MADE UP MYSELF, AND SO FAR AT LEAST TWO PEOPLE HAVE LIKED IT...LOL IT CAME TO ME AS A SIMPLE OBSERVATION, RIGHT THERE IN FRONT OF ME... ALSO A GOOD FRIEND'S CURRENT SITUATION WITH A MEDICAL ISSUE... I ALSO SUFFER FROM "GERD", BASICALLY ACID REFLUX (HEARTBURN)... :rolleyes::cool:

K HERE GOES...:D:cool:

WHAT DOES STARFIRE'S AVATAR PIC, AND HER HAVE IN COMMON?...o_O:cool:

ANSWER:

THEY BOTH HAVE HEARTBURN!... HAHAHAHA!...:eek::p:D:rolleyes::cool:

HOPE YOU GOT A LITTLE GIGGLE OUT OF MY TINY HUMOROUS JOKE...;):cool: IT CHEERED UP A GOOD FRIEND, AND THAT'S ALL THAT MATTERS TO ME...:):cool:

TC, TTYAL...;):cool:

n1EcO6oITUAZR493t4Zx3ta2UOk0mJMBmc5z6pQKvOWGHpXZSxV0rABZVMk0A_I8OfKOBC2ZDtAubfsKdI1BtHoI9p2IxP1DjmE6wPB8TS03ywh6SlkHGS5CD0LXHtJSv9h_vQMG
:cool:

A 1 A A DEVILISH HEART STARFIRE AVATAR LOGO @ COPYRIGHT 2017 11.jpg
 
Last edited:
HELLO ALL,

BACK WITH ANOTHER ORIGINAL, "STARFIRE" JOKE... JUST THOUGHT THIS ONE UP ABOUT 15 MINUTES AGO...

WHAT DOES ICON(CHATTER IN FCN ADULTS CHAT ROOM), AND ANAL SEX HAVE IN COMMON?... o_O:cool:

ANSWER:


THEY'RE BOTH A PAIN IN THE ASS, AND YOU'D PREFER NOT TO DO EITHER ONE OF THEM!...LOL:p:D;):cool:


HOPE THOSE OF YOU WHO KNOW ICON, GOT A GREAT LITTLE GIGGLE OUT OF THIS JOKE, HE DID!...LOL

TC TTYAL,

♥StarFire♥:cool:

A A 1 A A FLOWER SKUNK LITTLE STINKER 1.jpg
 
Last edited:
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top