LMFAO!
Jokes
- Thread starter Mabal
- Start date
TallulahBlue
Resident
ME (leading him to bedroom): And THIS is where the magic happens!
HIM: Fuck, finally!
*a rabbit jumps out of a hat*
HIM: I should have known you were being literal again.
HIM: Fuck, finally!
*a rabbit jumps out of a hat*
HIM: I should have known you were being literal again.
TallulahBlue
Resident
Onion rings.
Onion rings.
Onion rings.
Onion rings.
ME: OMG would somebody answer this fucking onion?
Onion rings.
Onion rings.
Onion rings.
ME: OMG would somebody answer this fucking onion?
TallulahBlue
Resident
DATE:You smell wonderful. Can I ask what you're wearing?
ME: Sure, it's the perfume sample on page 17 in February's Cosmo.
ME: Sure, it's the perfume sample on page 17 in February's Cosmo.
TallulahBlue
Resident
[babysitting]
PARENTS (getting home): What all did you two do?
ME: He was saying he was bored so I washed my car with him.
PARENTS: Well, that sounds li...
KID (coming into room crying): I asked her to use a sponge instead.
PARENTS (getting home): What all did you two do?
ME: He was saying he was bored so I washed my car with him.
PARENTS: Well, that sounds li...
KID (coming into room crying): I asked her to use a sponge instead.
Husband sent a text to wife at night,
“Hi I will get late, plz try and wash all my dirty clothes
And make sure you prepare my favorite dish before I return.”
He sent another text, “I forgot to tell u that I got an increase in
My salary at the end of month I’m getting u a new car”
She text back, “Omg really?”
Husband Replied: “No I just wanted to make sure u got my 1st msg.”
“Hi I will get late, plz try and wash all my dirty clothes
And make sure you prepare my favorite dish before I return.”
He sent another text, “I forgot to tell u that I got an increase in
My salary at the end of month I’m getting u a new car”
She text back, “Omg really?”
Husband Replied: “No I just wanted to make sure u got my 1st msg.”
A Journalist To A Doctor Of A Mental Hospital:
“How Do You Determine Whether To Admit A Patient Or Not?”
Doctor: “Well, We First Fill A Bathtub With Water Till The Top. Then Give A Teaspoon,
A Glass & A Bucket To The Patient & Ask Him / Her To Empty The Bathtub.”
Journalist: “Obviously A Normal Person Would Use A Bucket Because It’s Bigger!”
Doctor: “No You Stupid, A Normal Person Would Pull The Drain Plug!
Admit This Idiot In Ward No. 39
“How Do You Determine Whether To Admit A Patient Or Not?”
Doctor: “Well, We First Fill A Bathtub With Water Till The Top. Then Give A Teaspoon,
A Glass & A Bucket To The Patient & Ask Him / Her To Empty The Bathtub.”
Journalist: “Obviously A Normal Person Would Use A Bucket Because It’s Bigger!”
Doctor: “No You Stupid, A Normal Person Would Pull The Drain Plug!
Admit This Idiot In Ward No. 39
