Jokes
- Thread starter Mabal
- Start date
TallulahBlue
Resident
LOL
I want to make u smile....
TallulahBlue
Resident
You always do. I get a kick out of you.
where the kick u get....haha
TallulahBlue
Resident
PETCO INTERVIEWER: We are looking for a cat person to hire.
ME: *leans into my cup and drinks the water with my tongue*
INT: Haha, I like that! I like your attitude!
ME: *slowly pushes all the paperwork off the desk*
INT: Okay, that might be going a little too fa....
ME: *squats over trashcan and pisses*
INT: *presses 9* SECURITY
ME: *leans into my cup and drinks the water with my tongue*
INT: Haha, I like that! I like your attitude!
ME: *slowly pushes all the paperwork off the desk*
INT: Okay, that might be going a little too fa....
ME: *squats over trashcan and pisses*
INT: *presses 9* SECURITY
TallulahBlue
Resident
*Sometimes the jokes write themselves.
True story: when typing out the joke above, my autocorrect changed PETCO to PETCOCK and I'm still laughing. That was funnier than my joke*
True story: when typing out the joke above, my autocorrect changed PETCO to PETCOCK and I'm still laughing. That was funnier than my joke*
TallulahBlue
Resident
ME: This is a bunch of bullshit false advertising. I've been here an hour and nobody has even touched me.
GUARD: Again, not what a holding cell is for.
GUARD: Again, not what a holding cell is for.
TallulahBlue
Resident
911: What's your emergency?
ME: This guy just died in my arms tonight.
911: How did he die?
ME: It must've been something I said.
ME: This guy just died in my arms tonight.
911: How did he die?
ME: It must've been something I said.
lmao, nothing like an 80's song reference.
TallulahBlue
Resident
That joke was thanks to you! I am a COMPLETE 80's music junkie. I had just seen and listened to your "Glory Days" post and was thinking of 80's tunes. Cutting Crew came to mind, so I headed straight from your post to this section!
LMFAO!!!
TallulahBlue
Resident
*Standing in my shower*
ME: I was just trying really hard to hit some Celine Dion notes.
COP: We received 17 different calls that somebody was being murdered in this apartment.
M: So they noticed my golden pipes?
C: Their ears are bleeding and they are receiving medical attention.
M: So ... they noticed! *starts singing My Heart Will Go On*
C: *tazes me*
ME: I was just trying really hard to hit some Celine Dion notes.
COP: We received 17 different calls that somebody was being murdered in this apartment.
M: So they noticed my golden pipes?
C: Their ears are bleeding and they are receiving medical attention.
M: So ... they noticed! *starts singing My Heart Will Go On*
C: *tazes me*
Help-desk guy speaking to a lady user …
Help-desk : double click on “My Computer”.
Lady : I can’t see your computer..
Help-desk : No .. Click on “My Computer” on your computer.
Lady : How the hell can I click on your computer from my computer ??? !!
Help-desk : There is an icon labelled “My Computer” on your computer .. double click on it.
Lady : What the hell is your computer doing on my computer ?
Help-desk : double click on “My Computer”.
Lady : I can’t see your computer..
Help-desk : No .. Click on “My Computer” on your computer.
Lady : How the hell can I click on your computer from my computer ??? !!
Help-desk : There is an icon labelled “My Computer” on your computer .. double click on it.
Lady : What the hell is your computer doing on my computer ?
TallulahBlue
Resident
This is literally me, lol.