I have anxiety and bpd, I'm by no means an easy person to get along with and it takes a certain kind of person to truly "get" me.
I thought I found that person, it's a huge part of why I even left fcn for a long time. He was uplifting, supportive, understanding and just got me. I was happy for a long time.
But something happened and he started using everything against me, using my anxiety against me, my bpd triggers against me... trying to make me feel crazy and just making me feel like a really awful person for just having feelings.
I never did anything awful, but in the end was made to feel like some kind of awful monster for having feelings, sure maybe stronger than the average person and sure sometimes they didn't make sense, but still.
All I ever wanted was someone to just be there and say "you're okay" or "it's okay", that's it.
I tried to talk to him about everything and it ended so poorly, just more guilt trips and more "everything is your fault".
Needless to say, now we don't talk anymore and the point to my whole rant (and not so little thought) here is, even the most seemingly genuine people can turn ugly and toxic on you for no valid reason. It's incredibly painful and makes you not want to talk to or trust...anyone.
Not a great feeling and it's real hard to move on from.