Game The Monkey’s Paw

  • Thread starter Thread starter LilithX
  • Start date Start date
You are now so alone that you are the last creature alive - no ther life human or animal left on the planet. So quiet!!

I wish someone with nothing better to do would stop hammering threads with dumb commentary and constant asskissing weird grovelling bullshit.
 
Granted but it's from a community used glass that hasn't been washed in a year..

I wish it didn't get dark so early this time of year
 
Granted, you have been relocated to the south pole. Near 24 hour sunlight...and balmy -20C weather. You are welcome.:)

I wish I could fly.
 
Granted! You can lift off and zip anywhere, flying free, maneuvering and turning on a dime. Sadly, you can do this because you’ve been turned into a fly. Avoid the swatters.

I wish I could stop time on a whim.
 
Whenever the whim arises, the power to stop time is yours. The power to start time, however belongs to another...so be careful of your whimsically thinking.

I wish I could solve this riddle.
 
Granted, it is the eyes of affection, liver of desire and heart of passion...literally. Pureed and stuffed in the stomach of a cat and fed to one you love...(I believe it is also 40 years in prison for the bloody murder you must commit to procure the ingredients)

I wish I could go see a comedy show this weekend.
 
Granted, you are given ticket to see improve comedians in training. They are being taught by carrot top and only know how to make fart and dick jokes.

I wish that I could have the collective knowledge of the top 20 smartest people in the world
 
It goes right back to the Arctic tundra it was blown from and as a result water becomes a luxury that people kill and die for, total stuff of an apocalyptic WW3 - survival of the richest (fuck ... maybe I'm just quoting The tank girl movie - WATCH IT if you haven't yet, the comic is BOMB too!)

Sadly, water = power! No more showers, trees, bees, seas or flowers, never a winter just scorching Sun at all hours.

I wish I could eat without gaining weight!
 
Granted, but food loses all taste too no longer making it enjoyable to eat, the only thing that has flavor is water and the flavor changes every 5 minutes and you have no control over what it tastes like.

I wish I was at the beach
 
(That first sentence just KILLED my life for a sec but I guess I'd be grateful for the mystery water!!)

The beach on the deserted island you jusy wished yourself all the way to is uninhabitable between the violent winds whipping sand that stings like fuck against your skin and gets in every single nook and cranny of your body, belongings and food. Oh, and the waves are so huge and ferocious but no where as much as the great whites that live beneath and surround the island in the hundreds.

I wish it was storming.
 
Sure but now you've become so super fast to keep up with the new improved and way fast systems that you talk in a high pitched chipmunk voice and everything and everyone around you comes across to you as incredibly slow ... so the day seems to drag on forever and you're always impatient af.

I wish Santa would bring me new roller-skates.
 
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