Banter Things not to say before sex

[cockrod]

your breasts feel like bags of potatoes

 

[MissLed]

Well I see something hasn't dropped yet lol

 

[cockrod]

please pass the instruction booklet

 

[MissLed]

I'm going to leave you breathless...Or with a nasty scar ..then cackle like a mad woman on heat lol

 

[EmmaJay]

Your dad and grandpa always loved when I did this.....

 

[FiveKnuckleShuffle]

That looks like two Possums in a toe sack!

 

[Riverside]

...you're just like your grandma

 

[FireflyEyes]

I've just put the kettle on.

 

[Riverside]

You got 3mins, kick-off is at half-past

 

[SoMeFred]

“Can I smell your panties? “
“No huh, then it must be your feet”

 

[Sarah_1964]

Next?

 

[domi94]

Smile, you're on camera

 

[nylonlvr]

Your sister worked it better

 

[MissLed]

I can't believe that we have eight mutual Facebook friends on Tinder lol

 

[Riverside]

What the f*ck (with that face)

 

[FireflyEyes]

Are you mad at me?

 

[duncanh1n3z]

Oh...we are having sex? Thought you got naked for the shower

 

[MissLed]

Where were we? Oh yes, looking on the web for sexual intercourse ideas.

 

[duncanh1n3z]

It's just eczema - an allergic thing - not infectious - no no

 

[Riverside]

There's a little stain on your dress...