Torture above user in Hell

All his posts come to you as text messages and text to speech phone calls. 24/7 forever—and you can't resist but view/listen to them.
 
Every time you open your mouth to speak, goat noises come out. People assume you're hungry like a goat and stuff grass and hay in your mouth. Occasionally, their shoes. Forever.
 
Everyone coming to you with stupid questions, idiotic complaints and whiney ass attitudes all day everyday, foreverrrrr
 
Take away all chairs. Hair or any kind of headwear you can think of doesn't exist. Everything is done while standing. Lying down is not even a concept. Forever.
 
You can only eat roses and you have a servant who makes you rose flavored tea every day, but they make tea very badly. You have no choice to eat roses and drink badly prepared tea.
 
Your face becomes your ass and your ass becomes your face, at random times of the day, in random situations, for random lengths of time and everything is real--actual people's reactions, realizations, life feels real.... FOREVER.
 
I might enjoy that ^^^^ saves me telling people to kiss my ass.

You have permanent headphones that play Mariah Carey all day everyday forever and you can't turn it off.
 
You lose the ability to block, not answer or hang up on cold callers. You have to pick up every call and stay on the line until they choose to hang up. Plus, dark chocolate is no longer a thing. Milk chocolate only and it’s like 12% cocoa.
 
You're woken up in early morning because you're cold—hundreds of gonks have pullled off your cover and are trying to eat you, rapidly grabbing onto you, jumping onto you and starting to gnaw on you everywhere with their soft fabric teeth... But you don't know it's harmless, so you're fucking terrified out of your mind and scream as loud as you can... The door bursts open and an avalanche of gonks rolls in to join the rest... More climb in through the windows... Until the room is so full of terrifying gonks... This repeats every ten minutes. Forever.
 
You have a fan club and they just stare at you open mouthed in awe all day. You cannot make them go away ever and they are everywhere you go 24/7.
 
Your ass falls off and another face grows in place. You have control of both, but you ALWAYS select the wrong end for wrong things. Always. Every time.
 
^^^ sounds like my life now lol

You have dog breath forever and your tongue is long it hangs down past your chin.
 
Your head explodes every morning, but you eyes can still see, so you carry your eyes around and don't know wtf to do. Forever.
 
^^^^ that could be very handy ;)

You have to put up with me forever, not just in fcn but in real life too....I will finish all your sentences for you and eat all your chocolate.
 
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