Banter Why Are They Single?

Because he overuses the phrase “Who has two thumbs and likes ….. whatever? THIS GUY!!!!” For example, he took us date to an all-you-can-eat seafood restaurant. When the waiter/waitress came over and asked if they would like the all-you-can-eat, he looked at his date and said, “Who has two thumbs and likes all-you-can-eat seafood? THIS GUY!!!” After the hundredth time I think his dates are done with it.
“Who has two thumbs and loves Tequila?”
Date: “You I’m guessing?”
THIS GUY!!!
Who has two thumbs and loves holding hands at the movies? THIS GUY
Guess what? Who has two thumbs and will be using one of them to Jack off tonight? You ….guy.
 
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To make a long story short (hahahahaha), he can’t maintain a relationship because he’s like Batman. How is he like Batman, you ask? That’s a great question from you sitting at home in the front row. He’s like Batman because whenever a new member shows up, I flash the “bat signal” which is actually a hall gag and cuffs instead of a bat. So basically, I keep screwing up his love life because a lot of times I just flash it for the hell of it. Then when he gets there, I say, “just kidding. What have you been up to?” :).
 

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