Banter Why Are They Single?

Because he always takes his dates to the various houses and when they compliment him on “This is a lovely home”, he replies, “Thank you. It’s not mine.”.
“WHO’s is it then?”
“I don’t know. Let’s go inside and see what they have in the fridge.”
And that is the end of his night.
 
Because she’s always asking for nuts. What’s the down side you say? Well her excited dates get a hard on, are like “jackpot!” and unzip their pants. Think they are going to get the best blowjob of their lives. Then she asks, “What are you doing?”
“I thought you wanted some nuts?”
“Yeah. From the little shop back there.”
“Oooooohh ………. So I don my get to feel your lips around my ….”
“JEEZ BUD! THIS IS THE FIRST DATE!!!!”
Another one bites the dust
 
Her dates wonder why there are pick marks all over the window. Not just one but every window. It then until they realize I wash her windows. With an erection. Then they out it together. :p
 
I think, and I can’t be sure, but I think it is because when guys see here tail style anal butt plug, they think “Awesome!! She is into getting it up the ass.” When they go and try, she slaps their cock away and says “You ain’t putting that thing in my ass. Nothing is going up there.”
Then she puts her anal plug back in and takes them home. Leaving them wondering, “What just happened?”
 
Fildo66 said:
I think, and I can’t be sure, but I think it is because when guys see here tail style anal butt plug, they think “Awesome!! She is into getting it up the ass.” When they go and try, she slaps their cock away and says “You ain’t putting that thing in my ass. Nothing is going up there.”
Then she puts her anal plug back in and takes them home. Leaving them wondering, “What just happened?”
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Good grief.
 
He’s actually a stalker and keeps a black book of all his dates, where they live, if they have booby traps in their yards or guard dogs. Kind of creepy. A little known fact is that he has been inside each of their homes and stolen a pair of panties and tacks them to his bedroom wall so he can smell them at any time. Just bizarre behavior. Now a fun fact for those keeping score at home, he sometimes wears those panties around the house and tells himself what a handsome guy he is and what a big cock he has. Don’t ask me how I know all this.
 
I don’t think I know her that well and if we’ve met before, it was probably in a seedy bar and we were both hammered. But that is a story for a different time becAuse, quite frankly, I cannot remember the story.
Anyways, as to why she is single. Probably because she carries a magic eight ball around and every move she makes, she pulls it out and asks the 8 ball. Usually the interaction goes something like this:
Her and her date have gone out for drinks and now they are getting hot and heavy in the alley behind the dive bar. Classy, I know. The guy is trying to get her to give him a blowjob and she says, while smiling, “Let’s ask the magic 8 ball”.
*shakes it vigorously and looks at the magic answer*
“I’m sorry. The magic 8 ball says “Not in a million years””
That pretty much ends every date because her 8 ball was created in a bad batch and every answer is no.
Who knows all the answers?
THE 8 BALL!!
 
Anybody on here ever see the original “Revenge of the Nerds”? Anybody? Ok … I will take your silence and head nodding as a yes. Think about it! She is busty and from her profile pics on tinder, that is true. True fans of the movie know that nerds are great kissers and phenomenal at sex because that is all they think about. So why is a nerd who lives for sex and has breast they don’t even have a rating for, single you ask? Probably because she sounds like a unicorn that’s too good to be true so she doesn’t even get the first date. Has to be. ;)
 
Fildo66 said:
Anybody on here ever see the original “Revenge of the Nerds”? Anybody? Ok … I will take your silence and head nodding as a yes. Think about it! She is busty and from her profile pics on tinder, that is true. True fans of the movie know that nerds are great kissers and phenomenal at sex because that is all they think about. So why is a nerd who lives for sex and has breast they don’t even have a rating for, single you ask? Probably because she sounds like a unicorn that’s too good to be true so she doesn’t even get the first date. Has to be. ;)
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That's too close to real life.

He's single for being a psychic
 
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