Banter Why Are They Single?

@Fildo66
Trying to come up with a clever one, and failing.

He is fictional, spirit of Fildo. Sure fiction is always desired but when you realize you are part of scifi and your ideal partner you can't be with... you settle for the next best thing - an old book and a glass of your favorite drink (Kahlua).

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Heidiwil said:
Because he replied to himself and no one likes a show off.
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Hi Ms. Sunshine.. you finally are here. Wined and dined I hope.

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Sadly she isn't, but for a clever attempt and also failing to guess.

@Heidiwil

Heidi, too, is an enigma. She loves squares but dealing with circles... functioning in another timezone that no one can reach cause she is way out of our league. In the realms of quantum physics 2.0 .

 
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Because she wears a mermaid costume to each date, like she’s Ariel from The Little Mermaid. She tries to tell her date to dress like the prince to make the night complete and turn her on but she uses size 6 font and he couldn’t read it. :)
 
Fildo66 said:
Because she wears a mermaid costume to each date, like she’s Ariel from The Little Mermaid. She tries to tell her date to dress like the prince to make the night complete and turn her on but she uses size 6 font and he couldn’t read it. :)
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On point. So true. Though I would not want him/her/they to dress like a prince... maybe something else all together.

Also for you I won't make this size 3. Leave it generalized standard font.
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Here goes another one.

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He invited his date to party at the camp, and forgot to mention dressing optional. She showed up in red/white/blue only to find it's an x-rated camp where everyone was a little too chilled out. Unable to break from social norms she left worldly life and embraced the life of a monk.
 
Ok, so I was misinformed about the Little Mermaid fantasy. Maybe I sensationalized the story a bit. I was, however, just told by a very trusted source that the reason she is still single is because she won’t ride in anything but an electric car. Seems a little far fetched, don’t you think, Fildo? That’s what I thought. But the one time I watched her date pick her up in a 57 Chevy, she refused to get in and was saying something about “Fuck your asshole” and “I wouldn’t go on a date with you if you were the last fucking person on earth” which I took to mean she only wanted to ride in an electric car. Full disclosure, the guy did get out dressed like John Travolta in Grease and looked nothing like him. Plus he was a jackass. Anyways, so that’s why … I think.
 
Has to be because she’s always teasing her dates but never giving fully. That sounds like a weird sentence but hear me out. She does all the little things to arouse her dates like drip water or maybe an ice cube onto her cleavage. Slowly lick her fingers while looking at her dates. Wipe of his pants while she pretends he spilled on them. You know … that kind of stuff. But as soon as they leave the restaurant and the guy has a raging you-know-what, dates over. “I’ll call you” she says.
Editor’s note: I have never gone on a date with this wonderful lady and do not know if any of this is true and in fact, it’s probably all made up. :)
 
Fildo66 said:
Has to be because she’s always teasing her dates but never giving fully. That sounds like a weird sentence but hear me out. She does all the little things to arouse her dates like drip water or maybe an ice cube onto her cleavage. Slowly lick her fingers while looking at her dates. Wipe of his pants while she pretends he spilled on them. You know … that kind of stuff. But as soon as they leave the restaurant and the guy has a raging you-know-what, dates over. “I’ll call you” she says.
Editor’s note: I have never gone on a date with this wonderful lady and do not know if any of this is true and in fact, it’s probably all made up. :)
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Wow you are spot on. Sure we haven’t dated? Haha


He is single because we went on a date.
 
Speaking of “Hawk Tuahing”, this guy does none of that. In fact, he likes to talk non-stop about fishing. And not only the small talk like a normal person would do. But the Bubba talking about shrimp in Forrest Gump during the war campaign kind of talk. It is looooooooooooooooooong. So much so that when he takes a breath and realizes his date is no longer sitting there, he says, “Hmmmm…wonder what happened?” and leaves.
 
She comes on her dates carrying a small dry erase board. What’s that for, Fildo, you may ask. Glad you did because that is how she communicates … the whole time. She writes down sentences. Draws emojis. Gives a heart. But never speaks. It’s like a nighttime of Pictionary. At the end of the night, when she gets dropped off, she tells the guy, “Thanks for the fun evening” and walks away.
 
Fildo66 said:
She comes on her dates carrying a small dry erase board. What’s that for, Fildo, you may ask. Glad you did because that is how she communicates … the whole time. She writes down sentences. Draws emojis. Gives a heart. But never speaks. It’s like a nighttime of Pictionary. At the end of the night, when she gets dropped off, she tells the guy, “Thanks for the fun evening” and walks away.
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That would be a fun idea for a date. :cool:

Thread: Since he has put a ring on his favorite toy and calls it Wifey, he is bound to it until death do them part. :p
 
He likes to bring his pets on all his dates. Usually this consists of a dog, one cat, a horse and a small ferret. I guess if he gets lucky enough to date an animal lover, no problem. But he continues, throughout the date, to ask his pets if they approve of his date or not. Like he’s hanging out with Lassie, Garfield, Buzzy and Mr. Ed. Needless to say, usually when the lady asks Lassie how to tell his owner to fuck off, the date is over. Which is typically before the water comes.
 
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