Shitty ditties...

Spangle said:
Don't stand, don't stand so close to me...

Not with those beany farts anyway :p
Click to expand...
So today ive been very busy with our Bobinz trying to babysit
While my dear Spankums gives Big Blue an oil change and refit
I thought her intention with him was just to make his engine roar
I didn't expect her also making his gearstick an extra 2 feet more
From the fields I have heard a lot of high pitched moans and groans
It sounded at one point as if one of Big Blues gaskets she had blown
Meanwhile in the house our baby Bobinz has decided not to behave
So wanting a few moments of peace ive put him in the microwave
Accidentally ive pressed the start button and am cooking our son
But don't worry I hit defrost so when it pings he won't be well done
There is most definitely a strong smell outside our neighbours of manure
Im guessing cause our boys arse has a pipe in it that runs into their sewer
Maybe I shouldn't have fed him for lunch that large can of baked beans
Because after first hand experience we both know what Heinz really Meanz
It's ok my dear Spankums he's pinged but he could be overdone maybe?
All he keeps doing now is going on the chat rooms and saying Hii Babay
Im now really exhausted because all day throughout the house he has run
That wouldn't normally be a problem but it's not with his feet but his bum
So for a while now I've been washing and cleaning every inch of the place
Trying to remove the smells and stains so when you return there is no trace
While ive been with our son all day ive noticed about him one new thing
He's definitely started to show a resemblance to the singer named Sting
Have you sent him a 'Message In A Bottle' and is your real name 'Roxanne'
And did he let you stand so close to him in the back of his Police tour van
Whatever you did I don't mind, maybe our son will be rich singing a tune
Or maybe he'll become an astronaut and end up 'Walking On The Moon' ️xx️xx:):)xx
 
MJW1234 said:
So today ive been very busy with our Bobinz trying to babysit
While my dear Spankums gives Big Blue an oil change and refit
I thought her intention with him was just to make his engine roar
I didn't expect her also making his gearstick an extra 2 feet more
From the fields I have heard a lot of high pitched moans and groans
It sounded at one point as if one of Big Blues gaskets she had blown
Meanwhile in the house our baby Bobinz has decided not to behave
So wanting a few moments of peace ive put him in the microwave
Accidentally ive pressed the start button and am cooking our son
But don't worry I hit defrost so when it pings he won't be well done
There is most definitely a strong smell outside our neighbours of manure
Im guessing cause our boys arse has a pipe in it that runs into their sewer
Maybe I shouldn't have fed him for lunch that large can of baked beans
Because after first hand experience we both know what Heinz really Meanz
It's ok my dear Spankums he's pinged but he could be overdone maybe?
All he keeps doing now is going on the chat rooms and saying Hii Babay
Im now really exhausted because all day throughout the house he has run
That wouldn't normally be a problem but it's not with his feet but his bum
So for a while now I've been washing and cleaning every inch of the place
Trying to remove the smells and stains so when you return there is no trace
While ive been with our son all day ive noticed about him one new thing
He's definitely started to show a resemblance to the singer named Sting
Have you sent him a 'Message In A Bottle' and is your real name 'Roxanne'
And did he let you stand so close to him in the back of his Police tour van
Whatever you did I don't mind, maybe our son will be rich singing a tune
Or maybe he'll become an astronaut and end up 'Walking On The Moon' ️xx️xx:):)xx
Click to expand...
Ha ha so clever as always my luvverly hubs :p
 
Dearest darling hubby of mine
My date with Big Blue went just fine
I ran my fingers over his wheels
Just to remind myself how he feels
But then to polish them, because he's fussy
I buffed them up with my pussy
I must admit it made me tingle
Remembering back when I was single
Attending the local tractor fair
And shagging every gearstick there
The farmers said 'Spangle, what you like?
You're known round here as the local bike!"
But I just laughed at their ill-wills
Cos the doc gave me these special pills
He said "Spangle dear I wish you luck
It's time you didn't give a fuck"
I took those pills like I was told
And I didn't care, so I was bold
I made myself a bucket list
Now there's not one tractor that I've missed :p
 
Spangle said:
Dearest darling hubby of mine
My date with Big Blue went just fine
I ran my fingers over his wheels
Just to remind myself how he feels
But then to polish them, because he's fussy
I buffed them up with my pussy
I must admit it made me tingle
Remembering back when I was single
Attending the local tractor fair
And shagging every gearstick there
The farmers said 'Spangle, what you like?
You're known round here as the local bike!"
But I just laughed at their ill-wills
Cos the doc gave me these special pills
He said "Spangle dear I wish you luck
It's time you didn't give a fuck"
I took those pills like I was told
And I didn't care, so I was bold
I made myself a bucket list
Now there's not one tractor that I've missed :p
Click to expand...
Haha fantastic Spankums you always make me smile and laugh so much ️xx:)xx
 
Spangle said:
Dearest darling hubby of mine
My date with Big Blue went just fine
I ran my fingers over his wheels
Just to remind myself how he feels
But then to polish them, because he's fussy
I buffed them up with my pussy
I must admit it made me tingle
Remembering back when I was single
Attending the local tractor fair
And shagging every gearstick there
The farmers said 'Spangle, what you like?
You're known round here as the local bike!"
But I just laughed at their ill-wills
Cos the doc gave me these special pills
He said "Spangle dear I wish you luck
It's time you didn't give a fuck"
I took those pills like I was told
And I didn't care, so I was bold
I made myself a bucket list
Now there's not one tractor that I've missed :p
Click to expand...
Im so pleased you had a very good time with Big Blue
And remembered all the naughty things you used to do
Your pussy after you buffed him must be feeling a bit sore
It's was probably best you only did this and nothing more
Im worried the gearstick extension he's had for your next ride
Might just be a little too big for you to comfortably fit inside
At the least next time if you decide to put his gearstick to use
Take a tin of baked beans and lube his truncheon with the juice
Yes I heard when you were single you were a very naughty lady
Involved in anything at the tractor fairs that was sexually shady
I don't know everything you got up to before you became my bride
But I know you had more pussy passengers than the local bus ride
Personally I think they were just being nasty and didn't like the fact
You chose tractors over them that instead of footprints left a tyre track
To me it doesn't matter I understand your likes and that you are kinky
Getting turned on by petrol rather than cologne especially after a drinky
But im glad the doctor gave you pills so you don't care what they say
Because I hope you will share them with me so I can also feel this way
And now that your bucket list of fornication with tractors is finally done
I hope together we can start a new one and between us have lots of fun
By going online and searching the FCN site and through all its threads
And leaving regular funny comments to the posts made by Meatheads ️xx️xx:):)xx
 
MJW1234 said:
Im so pleased you had a very good time with Big Blue
And remembered all the naughty things you used to do
Your pussy after you buffed him must be feeling a bit sore
It's was probably best you only did this and nothing more
Im worried the gearstick extension he's had for your next ride
Might just be a little too big for you to comfortably fit inside
At the least next time if you decide to put his gearstick to use
Take a tin of baked beans and lube his truncheon with the juice
Yes I heard when you were single you were a very naughty lady
Involved in anything at the tractor fairs that was sexually shady
I don't know everything you got up to before you became my bride
But I know you had more pussy passengers than the local bus ride
Personally I think they were just being nasty and didn't like the fact
You chose tractors over them that instead of footprints left a tyre track
To me it doesn't matter I understand your likes and that you are kinky
Getting turned on by petrol rather than cologne especially after a drinky
But im glad the doctor gave you pills so you don't care what they say
Because I hope you will share them with me so I can also feel this way
And now that your bucket list of fornication with tractors is finally done
I hope together we can start a new one and between us have lots of fun
By going online and searching the FCN site and through all its threads
And leaving regular funny comments to the posts made by Meatheads ️xx️xx:):)xx
Click to expand...
:p:p:p sounds like a plan fella ;)
 
Spangle said:
I did manage some sleep, despite your snoring and farting, rattling of crisp packets and bean tins, shouting out 'Amber wear the red wellies' in your sleep and shoving your love truncheon in my ear :confused:
Click to expand...
Aw good glad I was sensitive to your needs Mrs Cock-Womble ️xx️xx:)xx
 
I believe in miracles
Where you from
You sexy thing, sexy thing you
I believe in miracles
Since you came along
You sexy thing
Where did you come from, baby?
How did you know I needed you?
How did you know I needed you so badly?
How did you know I'd give my heart gladly?
Yesterday I was one of the lonely people
Now you're lying close to me, making love to me
I believe in miracles
Where you from, you sexy thing? (Sexy thing, you)
I believe in miracles
Since you came along, you sexy thing
Where did you come from, angel?
How did you know I'd be the one?
Did you know you're everything I prayed for?
Did you know, every night and day for?
Every day, needing love and satisfaction
Now you're lying next to me, giving it to me
I believe in miracles
Where you from, you sexy thing? (Sexy thing, you)
I believe in miracles
Since you came along, you sexy thing
Oh! Kiss me, you sexy thing
Touch me baby, you sexy thing
I love the way you touch me, darling, you sexy thing
Oh! It's ecstasy, you sexy thing
Yesterday I was one of the lonely people
Now you're lying close to me, giving it to me
I believe in miracles
Where you from, you sexy thing? (Sexy thing, you)
I believe in miracles
Since you came along, you sexy thing
Oh, touch me
Kiss me, darling
I love the way you hold me, baby
Oh, it's ecstasy
Oh! It's ecstasy (Sexy thing, you sexy thing, you)
Kiss me, baby (Sexy thing, you sexy thing, you)
I love the way you kiss me, darling (Sexy thing, you sexy thing, you)
Oh, yeah (Sexy thing, you sexy thing, you)
Love the way you hold me (Sexy thing, you sexy thing, you)
Keep on lovin' me, darling (Sexy thing, you sexy thing, you)
Keep on lovin' me, baby (Sexy thing, you sexy thing, you)

Big Blue :p
 
Spangle said:
I believe in miracles
Where you from
You sexy thing, sexy thing you
I believe in miracles
Since you came along
You sexy thing
Where did you come from, baby?
How did you know I needed you?
How did you know I needed you so badly?
How did you know I'd give my heart gladly?
Yesterday I was one of the lonely people
Now you're lying close to me, making love to me
I believe in miracles
Where you from, you sexy thing? (Sexy thing, you)
I believe in miracles
Since you came along, you sexy thing
Where did you come from, angel?
How did you know I'd be the one?
Did you know you're everything I prayed for?
Did you know, every night and day for?
Every day, needing love and satisfaction
Now you're lying next to me, giving it to me
I believe in miracles
Where you from, you sexy thing? (Sexy thing, you)
I believe in miracles
Since you came along, you sexy thing
Oh! Kiss me, you sexy thing
Touch me baby, you sexy thing
I love the way you touch me, darling, you sexy thing
Oh! It's ecstasy, you sexy thing
Yesterday I was one of the lonely people
Now you're lying close to me, giving it to me
I believe in miracles
Where you from, you sexy thing? (Sexy thing, you)
I believe in miracles
Since you came along, you sexy thing
Oh, touch me
Kiss me, darling
I love the way you hold me, baby
Oh, it's ecstasy
Oh! It's ecstasy (Sexy thing, you sexy thing, you)
Kiss me, baby (Sexy thing, you sexy thing, you)
I love the way you kiss me, darling (Sexy thing, you sexy thing, you)
Oh, yeah (Sexy thing, you sexy thing, you)
Love the way you hold me (Sexy thing, you sexy thing, you)
Keep on lovin' me, darling (Sexy thing, you sexy thing, you)
Keep on lovin' me, baby (Sexy thing, you sexy thing, you)

Big Blue :p
Click to expand...
Hahaha and I thought this was for me my dear Spankums lol ️xx️xx. :oops:
 
Spangle said:
I believe in miracles
Where you from
You sexy thing, sexy thing you
I believe in miracles
Since you came along
You sexy thing
Where did you come from, baby?
How did you know I needed you?
How did you know I needed you so badly?
How did you know I'd give my heart gladly?
Yesterday I was one of the lonely people
Now you're lying close to me, making love to me
I believe in miracles
Where you from, you sexy thing? (Sexy thing, you)
I believe in miracles
Since you came along, you sexy thing
Where did you come from, angel?
How did you know I'd be the one?
Did you know you're everything I prayed for?
Did you know, every night and day for?
Every day, needing love and satisfaction
Now you're lying next to me, giving it to me
I believe in miracles
Where you from, you sexy thing? (Sexy thing, you)
I believe in miracles
Since you came along, you sexy thing
Oh! Kiss me, you sexy thing
Touch me baby, you sexy thing
I love the way you touch me, darling, you sexy thing
Oh! It's ecstasy, you sexy thing
Yesterday I was one of the lonely people
Now you're lying close to me, giving it to me
I believe in miracles
Where you from, you sexy thing? (Sexy thing, you)
I believe in miracles
Since you came along, you sexy thing
Oh, touch me
Kiss me, darling
I love the way you hold me, baby
Oh, it's ecstasy
Oh! It's ecstasy (Sexy thing, you sexy thing, you)
Kiss me, baby (Sexy thing, you sexy thing, you)
I love the way you kiss me, darling (Sexy thing, you sexy thing, you)
Oh, yeah (Sexy thing, you sexy thing, you)
Love the way you hold me (Sexy thing, you sexy thing, you)
Keep on lovin' me, darling (Sexy thing, you sexy thing, you)
Keep on lovin' me, baby (Sexy thing, you sexy thing, you)

Big Blue :p
Click to expand...
Spangle sits alone waiting for suggestions
Im so nervous avoiding all the questions
My lips are juicy, her heart is gently pounding
Don't you just know exactly what we are eating

If you want my baked beans and you think I'm sexy
come on Spankums let me know.
If you really need peas just reach out and lick me
come on Spangle tell me so
Tell me im so juicy

Im acting shy looking for a tin opener
Come on Spangle let's spend the night together
Now hold on a minute before we open it much further
Give me a spoon so I can feed you my lover
We catch a cab to my high rise apartment
At last there I can tell you exactly what Heinz meant

If you want my baked beans and you think I'm sexy
come on Spankums tell me so
If you really need peas just reach out and lick me
come on Spangle let me know

My heart's beating like a drum
'cos at last ive got my beans home
Relax Spangle now we are alone

We wake at dawn 'cos our bums are stinking
Two beany lovers laying in bed bean juice drinking
Outside it's cold, misty and it's raining
We got each other as Heinz farts are a straining
I say Im sorry as I explode under the covers
Now you need a gas mask as you try to recover

If you want my baked beans and you think I'm sexy
come on Spankums let me know
If you really need peas just reach out and lick me
come on Spangle tell me so

If you really need peas just reach out and lick me
come on Spankums let me know
If you really, really, really, really need peas
just let me know
Just reach out and lick me
If you really want peas
just reach out and lick me
come on Spankums let me know
If you really need peas just reach out and lick me
come on Spankums let me know
If you, if you, if you really need peas
just come on and tell me so ️xx :):)
 
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