Advice and Opinion Ask a woman

  • Thread starter Thread starter Slopps
  • Start date Start date
Women, who do you as a group consistently date and fuck assholes, but send the nice guys to the friend zone?

There is in fact some truth behind what you’re suggesting. However, the term “asshole” is pretty subjective.

Social psychologists have conducted numerous studies to shed light on why it’s so common for a lot of people to go through a phase of finding “assholes” attractive, particularly straight women.
In these studies, they measured how attractive “responsive” people found the opposite sex.
They defined a “responsive” person as “one that is supportive of another’s needs and goals”.
In this context a “non-responsive” person would be referred to as an “asshole” (a person not outwardly expressive of their attraction to another/aka; plays hard to get).

Both sexes were paired up and had an interaction similar to a first date. Afterwards, they were asked to rate how masculine/feminine they perceived their partner to be and how sexually attractive they found them.

“Responsive” female partners were rated by men as more feminine and therefore more attractive. Women didn’t find their responsive partners particularly masculine or feminine and being responsive actually showed to be negatively associated with how attractive they found their male partner.

Which suggests, the bigger the “asshole”, the more attractive women found them to be. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Going back to your question, there’s no simple answer as to why this is. It’s a possibility that a “responsive” person could be perceived as manipulative/having malicious intent (eg. trying to receive sexual favours) or could even be seen as desperate, hence being less sexually appealing. Someone “responsive” may also be viewed as less dominant and/or vulnerable.
 
Women, who do you as a group consistently date and fuck assholes, but send the nice guys to the friend zone?
There are "nice guys" and there are nice guys. Let me first discuss the nice guys.

These guys can be shy and they can be outgoing. The only thing that puts all nice guys together is they are boring. What do I mean by boring? I mean you do not peak her interest. Do not put women on a pedastal. Women and men are no different. They are both social creatures, who want a connection.

Now let's go with the "nice guys". These are the ones who think just because they are nice to a woman they should be rewarded with sex. Do not ever be this guy.

Now the assholes. Each person is different so an asshole to you might be a nice guy to her. Not all women like assholes. If by asshole you mean someone who knows what he wants and is assertive. That is being assertive and not an asshole.

DO not be so quick to label people.
 
There are "nice guys" and there are nice guys. Let me first discuss the nice guys.

These guys can be shy and they can be outgoing. The only thing that puts all nice guys together is they are boring. What do I mean by boring? I mean you do not peak her interest. Do not put women on a pedastal. Women and men are no different. They are both social creatures, who want a connection.

Now let's go with the "nice guys". These are the ones who think just because they are nice to a woman they should be rewarded with sex. Do not ever be this guy.

Now the assholes. Each person is different so an asshole to you might be a nice guy to her. Not all women like assholes. If by asshole you mean someone who knows what he wants and is assertive. That is being assertive and not an asshole.

DO not be so quick to label people.
Yea I also noticed he asked "date and fuck assholes"

If someone is only a fuck buddy. Liking their personality isn't even a priority.
It's only a situation of satiating carnal needs.

Social compatibility has little to do with lust

For me, the friend zone exists. And to me, the friend zone consists of people you get along great with. But theres just no sexual attraction. Or its not strong enough to take it further


You cannot date people only for sexual reasons. Or for only social compatibility.
It has to be a combination of both connection and attraction.
 
Great stuff ladies, keep it coming. And yeah, I've been the guy that hears about the asshole that she's been dating for months, but is too kind to take advantage of the situation.
It's a situation that is frustrating as hell. It's like being the gay friend but without the benefit of being fabulous....
 
Last edited:
Great stuff ladies, keep it coming. And yeah, I've been the guy that hears about the asshole that she's been dating for months, but is too kind to take advantage of her.
It's a situation that is frustrating as hell. It's like being the gay friend but without the benefit of being fabulous....

Hold up... “too kind to take advantage of her”?
 
Attraction is a two way street. You might have to face the realization she does not have romantic feelings for you
Oh I get that... I have never thought of myself as hunk material, but seeing some of the folks that have ended with that label makes me cringe too. I didn't think I was ever going to be in that situation again, but after 30+ years, I'm now single again, and have to relearn all the rules. I was always taught to treat a lady as such, be respectful, and be courteous, but I'm finding that isn't very effective, either.
 
0b5a83e2b601ee95f2cb7a15e2d92c60.jpg
 
if you were friends with someone and he confessed his love for you and you didnt love him back already and had to walk away (after being best friends and having great chemistry and liking each other in every other area)
would there ever be chance with them later on even if you werent interested right now or ready?

Why are you even pondering this? Perhaps this is what you should try to find an answer to.

If you are comfortable with someone jusy being your friend, there is no need to force it at any point in time. If it happens, it happens.
 

Trending content

Back
Top