Dearest Slopps,
This is awkward because you're a great guy and its breaking my heart but I have to go, once I get out of this wheelchair that I'm having to use from our fun on Saturday night I'm leaving you for the guy who hangs out around here with the inverted two inch penis, he seems like "fun" and that's all I can handle these days as you haven't just made my whole day, you've made my hole week, stay strong big guy!
Love Always 8