Shitty ditties...

S

Spangle

Resident
Not wishing to add to the more serious poetry thread...add your shitty ditties here :p


There was a boy named Brad
Who was quite a cheeky lad
He lived in Kidderminster
With his poor old mum and dad

He didn't learn to read and write
He couldn't add, his grades were shite
In fact it's not unfair to say
He really wasn't over bright

His dad said "Brad, you are a knob"
(At which his mother let out a sob)
"Go get your idle arse into town
"You're twenty now, go get a job"

So keen to see what fortune brings
Upstairs he went to pack his things
His wallet, his fone, his free buss pass
And a pack of yummy cheesy strings

But on the bus, or so I've heard
He sat next to a hot young bird
She flashed her boobs and rubbed his thigh
And then the usual thing occurred

He couldn't stop it, though he tried
The girl looked down and "ohh" she sighed
She whipped her pants off there and then
And happily she sat astride

"Oh Brad" she said (not being coy)
"You certainly are one big boy"
With that she bounced upon his lap
Until she screamed with joy

Brad shot his load with a curse
"Dear boy" she said "I've sure had worse"
She pulled her pants back on again
And took a tenner from her purse

Well from then on the ladies thus
Queued for miles to ride that bus
And Brad had such a big smile that
The money, he thought, was just a plus!
 
My naughty cock is always getting up,
I tell it, no not again but wants to stand up. I say, you know I'm all alone and no pussy around. When has that stopped you before... Just turn on some porn and you know I like the back door. I find some whore who wants it more that gets down on all four. I start stroking up and down and have fun in my playground. As I get ready to cum, I lay down. I start to explode and should be the talk of the town but for me it's a ghost town that I'll always be around.
 
Hello and welcome little toots
Kneel before me, lick my boots
Slide your lips along the heel
Try and imagine the pain you'll feel
Don't look at me you little scum
I'll thrash your slutty little bum
Fetch my crop from off the shelf
Don't you dare piss yourself
I'll make you lick that gusset clean
But no not yet, don't be so keen
I'll put those shackles on your wrist
Give your nipple a cruel twist
I'll bind you, gag you, make you heave
Torture you with no reprieve
I'll thrash you soundly in every place
Except that filthy street whore's face
I'll fuck your mouth, I'll fuck your ass
I'll make you drink piss from a glass
You're worthless, useless, look at you
And after this you're penniless too...
 
Spangle said:
Hello and welcome little toots
Kneel before me, lick my boots
Slide your lips along the heel
Try and imagine the pain you'll feel
Don't look at me you little scum
I'll thrash your slutty little bum
Fetch my crop from off the shelf
Don't you dare piss yourself
I'll make you lick that gusset clean
But no not yet, don't be so keen
I'll put those shackles on your wrist
Give your nipple a cruel twist
I'll bind you, gag you, make you heave
Torture you with no reprieve
I'll thrash you soundly in every place
Except that filthy street whore's face
I'll fuck your mouth, I'll fuck your ass
I'll make you drink piss from a glass
You're worthless, useless, look at you
And after this you're penniless too...
Click to expand...
You had me after lick my boots, the drinking piss from the glass was icing on the cake! Classic (:
 
Let me touch these tities,
Let me kiss this sexy mouth.
Let me lie with you in bed,
Gently gently going south
M not even rhyming :p
 
I am Miss Kendra
The cock tease

And with my hands
I aim to please

I'll squeeze your cock
Just for fun

I'll even let you
Rub your penis
Against my bum

In the park
I blew
A studly guy
Just for fun

But never
Ever
Do I allow
Men to cum!

They groan and moan
Until their balls ache

But letting them Orgasm?
No, "For goodness sake!"
No spurting of cream
Will be allowed

I am a tease queen
And I humbly take a bow



well this one's a copy paste:p
 
I'll stand at your window
Watch you have sex
Steam up the panes with my ragged breath
I'm sat down beside you
On the tube or the bus
Pretend to tie laces while I look up your dress
I'm the breath on your neck
As you queue in a line
I'll peer down your cleavage with drool on my chin
I'll hide in your toilets
Peer through a crack
Stare as you pee, feel the excitement begin
I'm a voyeur
A watcher
I'm everywhere
I see you
I stalk you
I don't fucking care
 
Spangle said:
I'll stand at your window
Watch you have sex
Steam up the panes with my ragged breath
I'm sat down beside you
On the tube or the bus
Pretend to tie laces while I look up your dress
I'm the breath on your neck
As you queue in a line
I'll peer down your cleavage with drool on my chin
I'll hide in your toilets
Peer through a crack
Stare as you pee, feel the excitement begin
I'm a voyeur
A watcher
I'm everywhere
I see you
I stalk you
I don't fucking care
Click to expand...
Don't stare at me while peeing
I got the stage fear
 
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